It’s Time For Samak To Resign

After long and careful consideration of the first 24 hours of Samak's tenure as prime minister, we have sadly concluded that he must step down

One day into his premiership, Samak Sundaravej has proven unfit for office. His demand for a bit of privacy while he shops in a fresh market to cook dinner for his wife is a shocking display of pugnacious personality, and we see no option for the country to move forward from this critical juncture unless he resigns immediately. 

Some may say that esteemed editorialists such as we at NTN should give Samak more than a day to prove his worth. But let’s be clear: The honeymoon for Samak ended 13 minutes after he was voted in as prime minister, when he met the press for the first time.

Indeed, it’s an absurdity wrapped in nonsense and glazed with idiocy that Samak could even become prime minister. Yes, PPP may have won the election, but it’s clear to us that all journalists hate Samak with a passion. And if society’s gatekeepers of the truth and democracy don’t like Samak, how good can he really be?

Let’s think about this rationally for a minute. PPP won the most votes in the election. Samak is the leader of PPP. So therefore, Samak should become the prime minister according to international democratic norms. Journalists who openly supported an incompetent government installed by the military for months should at the very least give the democratically elected government a bit of time to carry out its agenda. Maybe, in fact, these journalists should take some responsibility for the country’s political situation and admit that the coup is the main reason the economy is languishing and the new government is likely to be unstable.

OK, let’s stop thinking rationally. It’s not as much fun, and it doesn’t sell as much papers. It certainly won’t allow us to make sweeping dramatic statements and declare that the country is on the brink of disaster.

And indeed, the country is on the verge of the edge of a cliff as deep and wide as the outer limits of eternity itself.

Samak is nothing more than a nominee of the man in Hong Kong. He is not his own man. He’s a puppet. Can we afford to have puppets at the helm? Do we really want people lurking behind the scenes pulling the strings all the time? Do we really want people ruling the country that are not accountable to the public at all and that can’t be criticized by the media? That can poke and prod at our fragile democracy until it results in a coup?

Well, I guess we do want some puppets. Just not puppets controlled by Thaksin. Those puppets are like really bad puppets that don’t make us laugh or give us warm feelings. No, these puppets make babies cry and cause well-intentioned people to turn away in disgust.

Do we really want these sick, twisted puppets dancing comically on Thailand’s military-drafted constitution? Or do we want the good puppets—like Kermit the Frog and Big Bird and even dishonest yet cute Pinocchio—leading our great nation forward?

Do we want a ruthless murderer and suspected terrorist suicide bomber like Samak at the helm, or a devilishly handsome British-educated democracy advocate leading the country?

Now it’s up to the Thai people to decide.

Wait, you already did decide. And you chose the anti-democracy democratically elected leader! You idiots. We can’t believe you people actually like Samak?!? Who are you people? We at NTN certainly don’t know anyone who voted for PPP. We’re not even sure these people exist.

And since we do live in our elite Bangkok bubble and don’t really give two shits about what people in Isaan think, we have no choice but to declare: Samak must resign now.