NotTheNation Reports First-Ever Profit Of Bt340

BANGKOK – NotTheNationGroup, parent company of Not The Nation, triumphantly reported its first quarterly operating profit this week in coincidence with its fifth anniversary as Thailand’s most trusted news source.

In its annual meeting of shareholders on Thursday, the company’s finances were shown to have benefited from its first successful revenue stream, the selling of long-delayed NTN T-shirts at WTF bar on Soi 51 for Bt400 apiece.

Offsetting the merchandising revenue were the fixed costs of site hosting, initial investment in the production of the T-shirts, and the continued payroll of Nordakk and Temsig, two Nepalese sherpas who actually post NTN stories through an Internet café in Pokhara, Nepal.

The remaining Bt340 in net profit will serve as asset capital for NotTheNationGroup’s future expansion plans, including the re-registration of the website’s domain name and the purchase of an updated pirate copy of Photoshop at Panthip Plaza.

Shareholders expressed general satisfaction with the financial report, although some admitted that needing five years to attain profitability was well below their initial projections. The company’s longstanding operating debt was blamed on numerous factors, including the lack of banner advertising, the lack of an advertising department, and the lack of any persons who understood marketing, business, or even basic math.

Additionally, most attempts at revenue since launch consisted of ill-conceived and occasionally dramatic failures, including the short-lived NotTheRedBull Energy Drink in 2008, and the disastrous NotTheAirAsia budget regional airline in 2010, which failed to gain IASA certification when its lone plane was revealed to be made out of recycled playground equipment.

Despite the company’s low profitability, NotTheNationGroup’s board felt that the future was bright as the profit of Bt340 was still Bt567,000,000 above rival Nation Group’s current debt.