Culture Ministry Blasts “Rosetta Stone” Clip; Insists Thai Prostitutes Speak “Excellent” English

BANGKOK – The Minister of Culture has gone on the offensive against a viral video that parodies a language-learning service, claiming that it grossly misrepresents the Kingdom of Thailand.

The video, produced by US-based TV series “Saturday Night Live,” consists of a fake advertisement for the Rosetta Stone foreign-language acquisition system, which portrays a number of men who are learning Thai for the intended purpose of traveling to Thailand to acquire sex services.

“This video is neither accurate nor humorous, and relies on outdated stereotypes to make fun of our nation and culture,” said Culture Minister Sukumon Khunpluem. “The truth is that Thai prostitutes and those who provide sex services are fluent in English.”

Sukomon blasted the video’s “ignorant” suggestion that foreign tourists who wished to experience the unique pleasures of Thailand’s extensive commercial sex services needed to undergo expensive and difficult language training.

“Our sex tourism industry is one of the world leaders in the field, and we have serviced millions of satisfied customers – male and female – for decades,” she said.

“English, Chinese, German, Japanese, Russian, French, and Arabic-speaking sex tourists from around the world know that you don’t need to speak a word of Thai to rent prostitutes here in Thailand. We are proud of this and will fight to maintain our image.”

Sukomon expressed fears that the video would spread disinformation that might lead to cancellations by sex tourists who might think that alternative destinations such as Manila, Tokyo, or Budapest were more accommodating.

“I assure the sex tourists of the world, Thailand is well equipped to serve your non-Thai-speaking needs,” she said. “Hell, you can live here for a dozen years, marry a Thai woman, get a job, start a business, have half-Thai children, and still speak no Thai. We don’t care.”

To counter any misconceptions, the minister announced a new tourism campaign aimed at sex tourists who might have anxieties about linguistic difficulties, entitled “Money Talks.”