Yingluck Not Even Trying To Pretend To Be Prime Minister Anymore

BANGKOK – Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra has officially stopped pretending to be the elected leader of the nation, sources reported Friday.

Despite officially holding the title of prime minister, the sister of ousted leader Thaksin Shinawatra will no longer continue the pointless façade of being qualified to run the country or even interested in doing so, according to anonymous insiders and several on-record statements by her own cabinet members.

“Look, it was fun while it lasted,” explained Deputy PM Chalerm Yubamruang. “A woman PM. Great. But it’s really just wasting time to have to have her memorize all those instructions from Thaksin. We all know who’s in charge. Deal with it.”

Minister of Foreign Affairs Surapong Towijakchaikul echoed the sentiments, pointing out that “Meetings with foreign dignitaries are just getting too exhausting. Yingluck has to spend hours learning geography, history, all kinds of things that don’t interest her.”

According to Surapong, all foreign inquiries will now be directed to Thaksin Shinawatra’s homes in London or Montenegro.

Early indicators of the change came last week when, during a speech to reporters and business leaders about plans on controlling the appreciation of the baht, Yingluck trailed off mid-sentence and then just said, “Look, just read my brother’s blog. It’s all in there. He’s got it worked out.”

However, it was generally believed that Yingluck’s continued pretense of being a statesperson was motivated by the threat of the opposition Democrat Party’s attempts to nullify Pheue Thai’s election legitimacy if her proxy role was acknowledged.

According to an anonymous source in the Democrat Party, it was in fact a senior party member who contacted Pheue Thai and suggested an end to the charade.

“We were as bored with it as she was,” said the source. “I mean we know Thaksin won. The people want him, and frankly we’d rather he ran this fucked-up country than us. So we told Yingluck she could stop pretending. We give up.”

Yingluck is expected to make an official announcement next week, stepping down as proxy Prime Minister in favor of a small speakerphone connected to her brother. With the Democrat Party’s consent and no word from the military, the barriers to full reinstatement of the ousted PM appears to be obstructed only by the hard-line members of the People’s Alliance for Democracy.

The PAD responded by with a statement that the Democrat Party and Army were traitors, the Multi-Colored Shirt group was useless and impotent, and that they would continue to fight Thaksin’s return “to the death” with the full strength of their remaining 34 members.