Suthep Leaves Protests For Emergency Whitening Treatment

BANGKOK – Suthep Thaugsuban, secretary-general of the People’s Democratic Reform Committee (PDRC) took a break from his relentless anti-government campaign yesterday to undergo a preventive medical procedure to re-whiten his skin. Citing “the need to maintain the proper image at all times,” the PDRC made the decision on Thursday to get Suthep out of the sunlight and into a clinic where he... 

Non-Naked, Non-German, Non-Sex Tourist Plunges From Hotel Window

Thai Police Baffled At Unprecedented “Karl Slym” Case   BANGKOK – The Royal Thai Police are asking the public to help with any leads in the mysterious death of Karl Slym, 51, who died after jumping out of a hotel window Monday despite not being naked, German, or in the presence of one or more Thai prostitutes. “We’ve simply never seen a case like this before,” said Police Lieutenant... 

Thais Protect King From Deadly Ballots

BANGKOK – A possible overthrow of Thailand’s longstanding and revered monarchy was narrowly averted Sunday when courageous groups of patriotic citizens prevented the use of thousands of voting ballots by persons with ill intentions. “We heard that bad people who didn’t love our king had assembled an arsenal of over a million ballots in locations throughout the city,” said Issara Semchaiyat,... 

Prayuth Urges Thais To Keep Bombings In South Where They Can Be Safely Ignored

  BANGKOK – The army chief directed a strong statement today at the culprits of the recent grenade attacks against anti-government protesters, reminding them that acts of terrorism belong only in Thailand’s deep south. “Violence does not solve our problems, and acts of violence will not be tolerated in the kingdom,” said General Prayuth Chan-ocha at a press conference. “Except in the... 

Upcountry Drinkers Unable To Find Beer They Shouldn’t Boycott

Khon Kaen – Northern supporters of the Yingluck government who also enjoy drinking alcoholic beverages have found themselves in a moral conundrum, as investigation into the various ownerships of their favorite beers has revealed that they should all be boycotted. In the wake of the general boycott in upcountry areas of beers produced by Boon Rawd Brewery which was in response to controversial statements...