Junta Name Change Earns Instant Global Legitimacy

BANGKOK — Global criticism of the military coup d’etat that seized power in Thailand last Thursday  came to an immediate halt when the Peace and Order Maintaining Council (POMC) changed its name to the National Council for Peace and Order (NCPO) yesterday.

US Secretary of State John Kerry says that now that the new junta's name rolls off the tongue more smoothly the US will meet the generals.

The new name rolls off the tongue more smoothly, says Kerry, and opens the door to cooperation.

“We were wrong about the coup, and now fully support it,” said US Secretary of State John Kerry. “It turns out our policy of supporting democratic governments and not providing direct military aid to dictatorships was in fact, just a bias caused by our aversion to poor grammar.”

With the new, clearer, and snappy-sounding name, the NCPO had earned complete legitimacy in the eyes of the US government, Kerry explained.

“We intend to resume all diplomatic ties and aid,” he said. “In fact, we’ll double our aid. ‘NCPO’ just has such a nice ring to it. Congratulations to our Thai allies and we hope for years of continued cooperation and friendship.

“The governments of France and Germany also rescinded their objections to the coup, while numerous governments around the world quickly retracted their expressions of concern. British Foreign Secretary William Hague said he was now “totally unconcerned” with whatever was happening in Thailand.

“We are completely comfortable with whatever such a cleverly-named organization intends to do,” he said. “National Council for Peace and Order. Now we understand what they’re trying to do. Bravo.”

Foreign Affairs Minister Fumio Kishida echoed his sentiments.

“We apologize for calling the coup ‘deeply regrettable’ and wish to make it known that we regret nothing happening in Thailand,” he said.

“We see now that changing the name of something horrible makes it acceptable,” he added. “We will learn from this and improve our own governance.”