Upcountry Drinkers Unable To Find Beer They Shouldn’t Boycott

Khon Kaen – Northern supporters of the Yingluck government who also enjoy drinking alcoholic beverages have found themselves in a moral conundrum, as investigation into the various ownerships of their favorite beers has revealed that they should all be boycotted. In the wake of the general boycott in upcountry areas of beers produced by Boon Rawd Brewery which was in response to controversial statements... 

US Embassy Urges Citizens To Stockpile Bland, Unhealthy Food

BANGKOK – In an emergency message sent to all registered US citizens in Thailand, the embassy of the United States urged everyone to prepare for the upcoming Bangkok shutdown event by buying at least three weeks supply of terrible, tasteless American food. “As the nature of protests can be unpredictable, and supply chains may be disrupted, we strongly suggest you pre-buy essential foods that are... 

New King’s Anthem Film Just Two Minutes Of Crying

MAJOR CINEPLEX – The latest short film accompanying the playing of the king’s anthem at Major Cinemas features nothing but people crying, according to multiple reports. The film, whose director and production company are unknown, is a compilation of slow-motion clips of Thai citizens looking at His Majesty Bhumipol Adulyadej, who is not pictured, and weeping openly. The context of the clips include... 

Bangkok Women Pay Respects To Supreme Patriarch With Sexy Black Shopping Spree

RAJPRASONG – Last month’s passing of His Holiness the Supreme Patriarch of Thailand, Somdet Phra Nyanasamvara Suvaddhana Mahathera, has been respectfully observed by Bangkok’s women through a glorious shopping spree for sexy black clothes to wear to work and to business meetings. “His Holiness represets the essential nature of Buddhism, which we hold dear as a central guide to our lives as... 

After-Hours Nightclub Insufficiently Shitty

ARI – Club Naughty, Bangkok’s latest after-hours nightclub, was an extreme disappointment due to its failure to be completely wretched in every way, reported late-night punter Bran Windhorst. “You call this an after-hours place?” asked the 34-year-old expatriate. “Hell, it looks just like a normal nightclub.” Owned by a consortium of above-board and respected businesses, Club Naughty opened...