Hello handsome man. Come inside have a look please. Welcome. Sit here OK. What you drink? Carlsberg no have. No have long time. Heineken same OK? Moment please. Have a look, many pretty lady for you. You want? You want lady sit you tell me. What? OK, I sit with you. You handsome man. Pen knon arai? You speak Thai? Nit noi? I speak English little bit. Where you come from? America? Cannot. I think you... 

Sawadee Krup. Oh, don’t apologize for interrupting me. I was just praying at this shrine by myself like I do every day. I was just about finished, leaving me nothing better to do than strike up a conversation with some nice visiting tourists like yourself. It’s very nice to meet you. Where are you from? Sweden? That’s a lovely country. First time in the Kingdom of Thailand? I hope... 

One day into his premiership, Samak Sundaravej has proven unfit for office. His demand for a bit of privacy while he shops in a fresh market to cook dinner for his wife is a shocking display of pugnacious personality, and we see no option for the country to move forward from this critical juncture unless he resigns immediately.  Some may say that esteemed editorialists such as we at NTN should... 

In the depths of the esteemed editorial halls of NTN, we have concocted a conspiracy theory that sounds ridiculous even to us—so ridiculous, in fact, that it would be a journalist disservice to our readers to keep it to ourselves. Do we believe it’s true? Of course not. But we have a policy here to tell you the truth, lies and everything in between. After all, that’s what we ascribe... 

Red light. That’s my cue. Here, let me give the windshield of your shiny new Mercedes a few apathetic strokes with my wadded-up copy of yesterday’s Thai Rath. Sorry, but I lost my washcloth to a soi dog the other day. It happens when you share a bed with semi-feral street animals.  Anyway, the newspaper does just as well in streaking this watery fluid of dubious origin that I’ve...