Paradorn Announces Retirement From Professional Sponsorship

BANGKOK – Thailand’s former champion product endorser Paradorn Srichipan officially announced his retirement this week from professional endorsing, ending a brilliant and legendary career that has made Thais proud. Once ranked as high as #9 in the world in total products endorsed, Paradorn, whose nickname was “Ball”, took the PR world by storm in 2003 when he started appearing as a spokesperson... 

FIFA President Demands Rest of World Cup Be Played With Original 1930 Ball

JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA – Taken aback by calls for the introduction of video technology into football, FIFA president Sepp Blatter has declared that the rest of the World Cup will be contested with an original 1930 World Cup ball in order to re-emphasize “the timeless purity of the game.” The “Tiento” replaces the so-called “Jubalani”, the Adidas ball which was designed and tested... 

Capello Puts England Team Out Of Its Misery In Shed Behind Training Ground

PORT ELIZABETH, SOUTH AFRICA – A tearful Fabio Capello, manager of England’s World Cup football squad, announced he had taken it upon himself to “put down” the entire national team in a shed behind their training ground yesterday. Capello said it had been the toughest decision of his life. “We all witnessed what occurred against Algeria on the pitch and it was terrible for all to watch,”... 

US Dominates Waterboarding Event At Cobra Gold War Games

RAYONG  - The US army team once again proved its superiority by dominating the waterboarding exercises at the 28th annual Cobra Gold War Games yesterday. Among the 11,500 US soldiers participating in this year’s Cobra Gold War Games were three of the top-ranked waterboarders in the world. Adm Jack Francone, Sgt Brian Naismith and Private Kirstie Jacobs were all ranked in the top five by Waterboarding... 

Tiger Woods Embraces His Thai Half By Denying Reality

WINDERMERE, FLORIDA – Tiger Woods, the world’s number one golfer and one of sports’ most famous superstars, finally embraced his Thai heritage this week by engaging in fierce and categorical denial of obvious reality. In response to the worldwide media storm that began with the global athletic icon crashing his Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant near his home at 2:30 a.m., Woods has engaged...