PYONGYANG – In the wake of the death of Kim Jong Il, North Korea’s political, military, cultural, and spiritual leader, the government of Thailand has offered its assistance to the people of North Korea during this difficult time of cult-idol transition. “The North Koreans have known only one man, and one face, as their national symbol for many years,” said Foreign Minister Surapong Tovichakchaikul.... 

Pathum Thani – As tens of thousands of Thais still trapped by flood waters in Pathum Thani fended off a giant, mutant “croc-zilla”, Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra today assured residents and businesses located in inner Bangkok that they would not be impacted. Pathum Thani residents who have survived croc-zilla’s attacks say the amphibious beast is 72 metres tall, walks... 

BANGKOK – Following the high-profile conviction of Ampon Tangnoppakul for allegedly sending lèse-majesté texts last year, government prosecutors have offered the 61-year old grandfather a new deal. Under the proposed agreement, Ampon’s sentence will be reduced from 20 to only 5 years if he agrees to act more evil between now and his incarceration. “We are experiencing a lot of negative press... 

FROC HQ, DON MUANG – The embattled Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra today defended the government’s policy of using all flood resources at hand to protect the nation’s economic heart – specifically, the many basement food courts of Bangkok’s downtown business district. “If floodwaters of only half a meter reach Sathorn Road, flooding could cripple the weekday-luncheon infrastructure of... 

NTN NEWSROOM – A plastic bottle containing a message from the municipal government of Roi Et was discovered floating near the eastern flood wall in Minburi yesterday. The bottle was opened by NTN staff and found to contain a single-page handwritten note with the city’s official stamp on it. The message read: “Help us. We are experiencing terrible floods. No one is answering our calls.” The...