900 Tons Of Unsold Red-White-Blue Protest Crap Donated To US Republicans

WASHINGTON – In what is being hailed as a landmark act of political recycling, hundreds of tons of yet-unsold Thai-flag themed accessories are being shipped to the United States, where they will be given as a gift to members of the US-based Republican Party. The decision was announced today by a consortium of small business manufacturers and retailers who collectively have about 900 tons of tacky... 

US Reverses 60-Year Policy, Supports Elections In Thailand

Historians, protesters baffled at sudden pro-majority stance    WASHINGTON – In a move that surprised both historians and analysts, the United States expressed support for Thailand’s scheduled February 2 election, reversing a long-standing policy of preferring dictatorships in developing nations. “We support peaceful democratic processes around the world, and hope that our allies in Thailand... 

Typhoon Haiyan Decimates Telemarketing, Hotel Cover Band Industries

MANILA – As the world responds with direct aid to the devastated regions of the Philippines affected by Typhoon Haiyan, hundreds of intrusive international telemarketing companies and mediocre, 3-star hotels are also reeling from the loss of personnel. “We lost 15% of our work force, said Marty Melina, VP of Telstar Communications, a third-party telemarketing company that places thousands of phone... 

Chinese Government Supporting Jeremy Lin This Week

BEIJING – The People’s Republic Of China is officially recognizing the existence of American NBA player Jeremy Lin this week, according to a short article from the state news agency Xinhua. The article shows a picture of the Houston Rockets point guard, and highlights his three consecutive games scoring over 20 points per game, strengthening his team’s playoff position. “Ethnic Chinese basketball... 

Andrew Marshall Courageously Moves To Tokyo Before Criticizing Singapore Gov’t

TOKYO – Southeast Asian-based journalist Andrew MacGregor Marshall made yet another groundbreaking move in his notable career as a whistleblower and iconoclast this week, courageously fleeing Singapore just before unleashing a withering, critical report on its society and system of governance. The report, entitled “Singapore Story,” is to be released in four parts, with the first part posted...