Greece Invents Democracy, Economy Fails

EURO ZONE – In an indisputable demonstration of karma, the nation of Greece has gone bankrupt a mere 2,500 years after it created the evil known as democracy. “There can be no doubt that the two events are related,” explained Dr Pongsivat Dharalongsivat, professor of the Faculty of Buddhist Theology at Thammasat University. “In creating this idea that one man should have one vote, regardless... 

Weeks Of Search Reveal No Sign Of Flight MH370 News Coverage

SOUTH INDIAN OCEAN – Despite the concerted efforts of numerous governments and private agencies to locate it, news coverage of missing Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 appears to have vanished without a trace. At a press conference this morning where no reporters showed up, Malaysia’s acting Transport Minister Hishammuddin Hussein told the families of the missing passengers that despite all efforts... 

900 Tons Of Unsold Red-White-Blue Protest Crap Donated To US Republicans

WASHINGTON – In what is being hailed as a landmark act of political recycling, hundreds of tons of yet-unsold Thai-flag themed accessories are being shipped to the United States, where they will be given as a gift to members of the US-based Republican Party. The decision was announced today by a consortium of small business manufacturers and retailers who collectively have about 900 tons of tacky... 

US Reverses 60-Year Policy, Supports Elections In Thailand

Historians, protesters baffled at sudden pro-majority stance    WASHINGTON – In a move that surprised both historians and analysts, the United States expressed support for Thailand’s scheduled February 2 election, reversing a long-standing policy of preferring dictatorships in developing nations. “We support peaceful democratic processes around the world, and hope that our allies in Thailand... 

Typhoon Haiyan Decimates Telemarketing, Hotel Cover Band Industries

MANILA – As the world responds with direct aid to the devastated regions of the Philippines affected by Typhoon Haiyan, hundreds of intrusive international telemarketing companies and mediocre, 3-star hotels are also reeling from the loss of personnel. “We lost 15% of our work force, said Marty Melina, VP of Telstar Communications, a third-party telemarketing company that places thousands of phone...