Weeks Of Search Reveal No Sign Of Flight MH370 News Coverage

SOUTH INDIAN OCEAN – Despite the concerted efforts of numerous governments and private agencies to locate it, news coverage of missing Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 appears to have vanished without a trace. At a press conference this morning where no reporters showed up, Malaysia’s acting Transport Minister Hishammuddin Hussein told the families of the missing passengers that despite all efforts... 

900 Tons Of Unsold Red-White-Blue Protest Crap Donated To US Republicans

WASHINGTON – In what is being hailed as a landmark act of political recycling, hundreds of tons of yet-unsold Thai-flag themed accessories are being shipped to the United States, where they will be given as a gift to members of the US-based Republican Party. The decision was announced today by a consortium of small business manufacturers and retailers who collectively have about 900 tons of tacky... 

US Reverses 60-Year Policy, Supports Elections In Thailand

Historians, protesters baffled at sudden pro-majority stance    WASHINGTON – In a move that surprised both historians and analysts, the United States expressed support for Thailand’s scheduled February 2 election, reversing a long-standing policy of preferring dictatorships in developing nations. “We support peaceful democratic processes around the world, and hope that our allies in Thailand... 

Typhoon Haiyan Decimates Telemarketing, Hotel Cover Band Industries

MANILA – As the world responds with direct aid to the devastated regions of the Philippines affected by Typhoon Haiyan, hundreds of intrusive international telemarketing companies and mediocre, 3-star hotels are also reeling from the loss of personnel. “We lost 15% of our work force, said Marty Melina, VP of Telstar Communications, a third-party telemarketing company that places thousands of phone... 

Chinese Government Supporting Jeremy Lin This Week

BEIJING – The People’s Republic Of China is officially recognizing the existence of American NBA player Jeremy Lin this week, according to a short article from the state news agency Xinhua. The article shows a picture of the Houston Rockets point guard, and highlights his three consecutive games scoring over 20 points per game, strengthening his team’s playoff position. “Ethnic Chinese basketball...