(Thai local time)

Proclamation: Thaksin To Be Tarred and Feathered Upon Return

Shall the Dishonourable Thaksin return to The Kingdom hot tar shall be Smeared and a bed of Feathers preparedeth 


Should he return to the Kingdom, ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra must spend at least 15 days in the stocks before being tarred and feathered, according to a notice nailed to the front gate of Privy Council President Prem Tinsulanonda's Thewes residence. 

 

Thaksin had no right to determine his fate and must respect the rule of law, said a man outside the house dressed in yellow armor who quickly departed the scene on horseback.

 

According to the notice signed by the respected privy councilor: Whereas We have taken into Our Consideration the extensive and valuable Acquisitions of Thaksin Shinawatra, pilfered from the Kingdom, before his Fleeing to the town of London in September, Two Thousand and Six Years; and being desirous that all Our loving Subjects, may redeem themselves with all convenient Speed, and be United, I have thought fit, with the Advice of the Privy Council, to issue this our Proclamation, hereby to publish and declare to all our loving Subjects, that we have agreed as follows.

 

To the great Prejudice of our Interests, and to the great Dissatisfaction of the People, Great Frauds and Abuses have been committed in the Kingdom by the disloyal subject Thaksin Shinawatra, during his Administration of the Kingdom’s Affairs. In order, therefore, to prevent such Irregularities for the future, and to the end that the People may be convinced of our Justice and determined Resolution to remove all reasonable Cause of Discontent, I do, with the Advice of our Privy Council, strictly require, that the disloyal citizen Thaksin Shinawatra be Placed in the Stocks for a Period of 15 days upon his Return, to be extended by Popular Decree to 100 Days, if Our Loving Subjects so entreaty.

 

And We have also thought fit, with the advice of our Privy Council as aforesaid, that a Selection of Cream Pies may be provided to Loyal Subjects to be Thrown at the Face of said Accused, if so desired.

 

And We do further declare it to be Our Will and Pleasure, that upon leaving the stocks the Accused will be stripped to his Undergarments, smeared in Hot Tar and rolled in a Bed of Feathers before being released.

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 PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD WITH NOT THE NATION  TODAY.

LOST. ALL CREDIBILITY. Last traces eliminated by rumor mongering, speculation and unsourced stories in January 2010. Please contact editor@nationmultimedia.com with facts of any kind.

MISSINGTHAILAND'S COLD SEASON. Last seen in Thailand for one day in January. Believed to be in remote Cambodian province. Refuses to move in westerly direction. 

 

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