NTN: Today representatives of the PAD have seized control of TV stations, police stations, the Finance Ministry, and several small airports. Roads have been blocked. Why are you doing this?

SL: Because the army has failed to take control of the situation, and overthrow the forces of evil that threaten the monarchy.

NTN: I see. And who are these forces of evil?

SL: Thaksin, of course, and his nominees, the PPP and Samak. Also those who would overthrow our beloved monarchy with a Repuublic. And academics who question our methods.

NTN: Wasn’t Thaksin, as well as Samak, elected?

SL: Elections are the enemy of democracy. Thaksin used promises of prosperity to the poor to win popularity, which is illegal and an-Thai and upsets the natural order of things. This is why we must save the nation with our “Final Solution.”

NTN: Who is “we”?

SL: The PAD, and our troops of Yellow Shirts. Also, the PAD Youth Wing, which supports our activities with added loyalty enforcement. We are also working in creating a Ministry of Correct Information, which will issue news that is fit for the Thai people.

NTN: What is your ultimate goal?

SL: The establishment of a National Social Thai State, with the King as head, or “The Leader.” A strong army that serves only The Leader, and a population that takes pride in its Thai purity.

NTN: Sounds ambitious. How can you achieve this?

SL: Our “Final Solution” will simply separate the impure elements of society, round them up if you will, and hold them in camps, maybe upcountry. These elements will include the aforementioned groups, as well as Muslims, who are a parasite race incompatible with the ideals of our state. Also, those who create art or ideas that are contrary to the state, they will also be removed.

NTN: So you intend to suspend the Constitution?

SL: Constitutions are the tools of Republicans, and siphon power away from The Leader, where it belongs. We intend to set fire to Government House.

NTN: How do you know you have the support of the people?

SL: They will support us when they see the rise of the new Age of Thailand. Imagine the glorious day when our military storms across the Cambodian border with “lightning” speed to reclaim Preah Vihear and all the lands of our forefathers. I truly believe this Age can last a thousand years.

NTN: One final question Khun Sondhi, when will you pay back all the journalists you screwed as a result of  your many failed publishing endeavors such as Asia Times?

SL: [silence]