BANGKOK - With the Phuket and Hat Yai airports re-opened for flights after brief shutdowns over the weekend, the People’s Alliance for Democracy has threatened to instigate additional disruptive measures to show their power and organization, including the simultaneous flushing of “one million toilets or more,” according to PAD leader Sondhi Limthongkul.

“We have our agents waiting for the order, scattered throughout strategic toilet locations nationwide,” he told an interviewer on ASTV.  By flushing so many toilets at once, he predicts that water pressure would drop catastrophically, forcing Thais to wait up to 40% longer for their toilet tanks to refill.   

However, even this brazen act of water-closet civil disobedience is “just the beginning,” according to Somsak Kosaisuk, another PAD leader. “If the corrupt and illegitimate Samak government does not submit to the will of the Thai people, we will be forced to shut down the country using other means,” he said. According to PAD insiders, these actions may include sending Samak one million pizzas he didn’t order, reserving all the tables at Bangkok ’s best restaurants for Friday night to force the urban middle class to eat inferior cuisine, and mass-voting for the worst singer at the next Academy Fantasia.