BANGKOK - Apirak Kosayodhin promised today he would make even more dramatic promises in his second term as Bangkok Governor and then immediately fulfilled that promise.

“It is the most sacred tradition of Bangkok governors to make promises to fulfill Bangkok’s tremendous promise and I personally promise to make those promises too,” the Democrat declared. “And with that first promise I am already fulfilling my promise to the people to deliver promises.”

A crowd of well-wishers who greeted him outside his home last night after hearing he had won with 991,018 votes cheered the statement.

Apirak then said: “As I know more than ever that the Bangkok governor position holds no real authority, I can’t promise anything but I can and will promise promises.”

He then declared: “I promise to solve the city’s traffic problems and clean up its khlongs. I promise to reduce pollution and get rid of stray dogs. I promise massive new infrastructure projects. Thank you for electing me. My job is done.”