BANGKOK -- Hoping to increase passenger numbers despite the global recession, Thai Airways has officially launched a fellatio service for its Royal Silk Class passengers. In a live press conference yesterday, journalists were given a real-time demonstration of the new service by a group of specially-trained flight attendants. A spokesperson explained that the service, a first for the aviation industry, would distinguish THAI as the leader in "taking care of our paseengers with the unique touch of Thai hospitality."

In the wake of its first-ever annual loss and facing reduced passenger volume, THAI has been under pressure to develop a new business plan to secure a loan guarantee from the new Democrat-led government. The fellatio service will be introduced gradually on select international flights starting in April. No announcement has been made regarding the introduction of cunnilingus services for female passengers, although a THAI employee, speaking anonymously, said that it was under development pending allocation of heterosexual Thai male flight attendants familiar with the concept.

Singapore Airlines is expected to announce the launching of a rival service, including full ingurgitation, later this month.