THE SCARY WORLD – Wire agencies, newspapers and television networks have continued to bravely produce journalism in spite of overwhelming evidence that man will be extinct in only a few weeks.

As the swine flu reaches “pandemic” proportions and “spreads quickly around the globe,” reporters, editors and producers have heroically continued to perform their daily duties as if they themselves will not be consumed by the very “outbreak of the easily transmitted, fatal disease” on which they are reporting.

“It’s courageous really,” said media analyst Tom Becker of Northwestern University. “Journalists throughout history have gotten a negative rap, but now, in the moment when the world is coming to an obvious end, they will go out as selfless messengers who without hesitation or fear delivered us this bad news.”

Many people about to die everywhere agreed that the media deserved praise for their stoicism. Said one: “Every day, when I read about the impending decimation of populations around the world, and indeed about my own imminent death, I am in awe of these reporters who just carry on as if there will still be a tomorrow.”

“Imagine the focus it must require to write or edit copy when you know better than anyone that we’re goners,” said another person whose days on this earth were clearly limited. “Most people wouldn’t bother. They’d be with their family or friends, or in Vegas or something, but the journalists – what do they do? They get up and they go to work.”

 Members of the world media are being typically humble and reserved about what is without a doubt the biggest story of their careers.

“This is not about me, Christiane Amanpour,” said CNN’s Christiane Amanpour.  

Amanpour also denied that swine flu was being overblown by the media due to a bad economy and desperate need for increased circulation, revenue, and relevance.

“That doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Given that a Mexican toddler has just died in Texas, it’s pretty clear that the extinction of the human race is just around the corner. So let me ask you: Once we are all dead, how would the billions in extra advertising money help us then?”