(Thai local time)

WHO Places All of Thailand Under Quarantine After Official Spots Pig with Chicken

Concerns that swine flu and bird flu could mutate into new killer virus 


SINGBURI - The World Health Organization (WHO) has banned tourists from traveling into or out of Thailand after an official surveying the country saw a chicken hanging out with a pig.

The precautionary measure was based on speculation that a pig with swine flu spending time with a chicken with bird flu could lead to the outbreak of a new flu virus he called “swird flu”.

“Swird flu,” the official said, would be more devastating than either bird flu or swine flu because it “just would be”.  

 

The official said the current WHO pandemic rating level for “swird flu” would be 5 until the existence of “swird flu” had been proven, at which point it would be raised to 6.

 

The official, who was here to brief Thai health officials on swine flu and survey provincial farms during last week’s Swine Flu meeting, came across the chicken and pig at the first farm he visited. “It was shocking. The first farm I go to and bang! – a chicken and a pig walking around together like there was nothing wrong with it. I just have to wonder how many farms in Thailand are allowing pigs and chickens to socialize like this.”

 

The farmer, who only gave the name “Daeng”, said he had no idea there was anything wrong with it. “That pig loves that chicken. They are inseparable”

 

Asked if he had heard of swine flu, he said no. “My wife mentioned something to me about a Mexican flu but we don't see many Mexicans in these parts.”

 

Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva said the government would find a silver-lining in the latest setback to its reputation by hosting a “Swird Flu Prevention” summit next month. “By the way,” he added, “in Thailand, we will call swird flu ‘Chicken to Pig to Human Flu’ so Thai people don’t get confused.”

 

 “And to protect the lucrative swird industry,” he added.

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LOST. ALL CREDIBILITY. Last traces eliminated by rumor mongering, speculation and unsourced stories in January 2010. Please contact editor@nationmultimedia.com with facts of any kind.

MISSINGTHAILAND'S COLD SEASON. Last seen in Thailand for one day in January. Believed to be in remote Cambodian province. Refuses to move in westerly direction. 

 

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