(Thai local time)

New Rims, Spoiler Fail To Make Altis Go Faster

 


SAMUT PRAKAN – Despite a meticulous and expensive renovation to its outward appearance, friends reported Monday that a 2001 Toyota Corolla Altis owned by Pong Winnichit does not appear to drive any faster than before. Although several friends conceded that the addition of the rear spoiler and 6-spoke chrome mag wheels did indeed “look great,” the car’s top speed remained a pathetic 127 kmph, with a maximum horsepower of 70 from its 4-cylinder, 1.4 liter engine. With the wheels adding more than 30kg to the car’s weight, its acceleration has actually dropped to a laughable 19 seconds from 0 to 100kph. When questioned, Pong insisted that the renovation was not yet finished, and that he intended to “energize” the engine by adding a Bt130 can of Ferox fuel additive soon.

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 PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD WITH NOT THE NATION  TODAY.

MISSING Basic knowledge about client’s past statements and actions, recent Thai history and complex political situation. Urgently email robert.amsterdam

@amsterdamperoff.com.

 WANTED New superficial identity to project to the world. Will be featured in global advertising campaign. Avoid word “smiles”. Send pitches to Tourism Authority of Thailand. 

 

 

LOST Sleep. Between May 14 and May 20 in downtown Bangkok. Can’t remember last time I had it exactly. Would pay anything to have it again. Contact sub desk at AP.

 

 

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