BANGKOK – ‘NotTheNation’ has learned that a Hong Kong-based CNN producer has ordered local correspondent Dan Rivers to include “a colorful walk down Patpong Road” in his latest coverage of the current anti-government protests.

Following the unwritten rule of television news than any segment on Bangkok should include at least one reference to AIDS, a go-go bar or a street elephant, the producer instructed Rivers to describe the current mood in the capital as he stands outside “Super Pussy”.

“The capital of Bangkok is tense tonight,” a stone-faced Rivers says in the piece, as several giggling ladyboys from King’s Castle walk by.

Rivers then shakes off invitations to two ping pong shows and declines a body massage as he walks toward Super Pussy: “We do not know yet if the government will stand tall or fall, whether blood will once again run on the streets as it did less than one year ago, or peace will prevail.”

“Bangkok residents have been fearing the worst,” he continues, unwittingly gesturing toward a man staring intently into the navel of #67 in a bar behind him.  

Concluding the piece, by which time a bevy of bikini-clad bar girls have begun cat-calling and beckoning him into the bar, he says:  “For now, the military remains on alert while Thailand’s much revered monarch monitors the situation from inside his hospital room. This is Dan Rivers, outside Super Pussy.”