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(Thai local time)

Breaking News

	Queen’s Birthday Portraits Youngest Since 1977
	Anti-Red Facebook Pages Officially Abandoned By Bored Thai Middle Class
	California Wow Still Flaming
	Protestors Manage To Set Klong Alight
	Mob of Interior Designers, Architects Set State Tower On Fire
	Government Warns of Severe Tire Shortage
	An Actor Brings Thailand To Its Senses
	Red Shirts Purge Weng For Wearing Glasses
	Sansern Denounces UDD Removal Of Red Clothing As 'Not Very Sporting'
	Soliders On Patpong Distracted By Shirtless Movement
	Traffic Deaths Top Civil Unrest Deaths For 86th Consecutive Year
	SET Pretends To Be Connected To Economy, Falls
	“The Nation” Sets Record For World’s Biggest Typo
	CNN Producer Demands Dan Rivers Report Red Shirt Rallies From Outside “Super Pussy”
	“Furry Shirts” Gathering By Vacant Lot

Breaking News

	Queen’s Birthday Portraits Youngest Since 1977
	Anti-Red Facebook Pages Officially Abandoned By Bored Thai Middle Class
	California Wow Still Flaming
	Protestors Manage To Set Klong Alight

World Update

	Kim Jong Il’s Pancreas Sent To Labor Camp
	Man Reduces Carbon Footprint By Dying Young
	U.S. Torture Memos: Detainee Forced To Eat At Cracker Barrel 83 Times In One Month
	Americans Insist World Baseball Classic Doesn’t Count Until Americans Win It

PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD WITH NOT THE NATION TODAY.

MISSING Basic knowledge about client’s past statements and actions, recent Thai history and complex political situation. Urgently email robert.amsterdam

@amsterdamperoff.com.

WANTED New superficial identity to project to the world. Will be featured in global advertising campaign. Avoid word “smiles”. Send pitches to Tourism Authority of Thailand.

LOST Sleep. Between May 14 and May 20 in downtown Bangkok. Can’t remember last time I had it exactly. Would pay anything to have it again. Contact sub desk at AP.