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(Thai local time)

Politics

	Lese-Majeste Law Expanded To Include Lese-Majeste Accusations
	They Call Him ‘Jokerman S’
	Democrats Celebrate 25th Anniversary of Non-Platform
	Proclamation: Thaksin To Be Tarred and Feathered Upon Return
	EC Red Cards Pankun and James
	EC Disbands Sukhumvit Party; Revelers Face Five-Year Ban
	Meteor Destroys Bridge Ahead of Abhisit Motorcade
	Samak Vows to Double Per Capita Wealth by Killing Half of Population
	Constitution(s) To Be Printed With Perforated Lines for Cleaner Tearing
	Sondhi Limthongkul Makes Stunning Return, Declaring New Target: Himself
	Protesters Demand Clearer Instructions, Smaller Bills

Breaking News

	Queen’s Birthday Portraits Youngest Since 1977
	Anti-Red Facebook Pages Officially Abandoned By Bored Thai Middle Class
	California Wow Still Flaming
	Protestors Manage To Set Klong Alight

World Update

	Kim Jong Il’s Pancreas Sent To Labor Camp
	Man Reduces Carbon Footprint By Dying Young
	U.S. Torture Memos: Detainee Forced To Eat At Cracker Barrel 83 Times In One Month
	Americans Insist World Baseball Classic Doesn’t Count Until Americans Win It

PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD WITH NOT THE NATION TODAY.

MISSING Basic knowledge about client’s past statements and actions, recent Thai history and complex political situation. Urgently email robert.amsterdam

@amsterdamperoff.com.

WANTED New superficial identity to project to the world. Will be featured in global advertising campaign. Avoid word “smiles”. Send pitches to Tourism Authority of Thailand.

LOST Sleep. Between May 14 and May 20 in downtown Bangkok. Can’t remember last time I had it exactly. Would pay anything to have it again. Contact sub desk at AP.