# Not The Nation

> The Website You Can Trust


## Posts

- [Local Expat Develops Screenplay For Mae Sot Prison Riot On Available Napkins](https://notthenation.com/local-expat-develops-screenplay-for-mae-sot-prison-riot-on-available-napkins/): CHIANG MAI — Local expat Sean McMullin, 36, has reportedly completed a screenplay based on last week’s riot at a Mae Sot immigration detention facility, after carefully reviewing a single Facebook post about the incident and jotting down his ideas on napkins included with his takeaway order from a nearby café. “This is the opening scene,” Sean is reported to have said According to anonymous sources familiar with the matter, McMullin admitted he did not read the linked news article itself, but said the post’s caption and comments section gave him “more than enough context” to understand what he described […]
- [Hat Yai To Develop 'Large Waste Collider' To Process Flood Damage Debris](https://notthenation.com/hat-yai-to-develop-large-waste-collider-to-process-flood-damage-debris/): HAT YAI — Reeling from floods that killed nearly 270 people and left behind an estimated 250,000 metric tons of debris, the Ministry of Higher Education, Science, Research and Innovation has unveiled plans for a “Large Waste Collider,” to be developed by the Crown Property Bureau’s Siam Sindhorn Co.—a real-estate firm with absolutely no technological background—on a 300-billion-baht budget. Designed in theory only, the collider will allegedly accelerate household waste, broken appliances, uprooted trees, and miscellaneous flood-soaked debris through a 27-kilometre vacuum tunnel before smashing them together at near light speed, where, according to planners, “the trash will either vaporize, […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Thai F-16 Destroys Casino In Cambodia](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-thai-f-16-destroys-casino-in-cambodia/): A Thai F-16 fighter jet has reportedly destroyed a casino building in the border region of Cambodia that was being used as a drone control operations center and to coordinate rocket attacks on Thai military positions, with Maj Gen Winthai saying that after one solider was killed and two others injured, Thailand had no choice but to defend itself against attempts to harm the country.      What do you think? Sokha Hun Sen Sreyneang Back Alley Hustler Daddy’s Boy Gecko Masseuse “The airstrikes didn’t faze us one bit. Ten minutes after the dust settled we were already playing Sic Bo in […]
- [Cambodian Army Says Capybara Plushie Mascot Was Never at Risk](https://notthenation.com/cambodian-army-says-capybara-plushie-mascot-was-never-at-risk/): ANGKRONG — Cambodia’s Defense Ministry on Tuesday denied widespread speculation that an official capybara plush mascot was endangered after video surfaced showing a soldier shielding it with his hand while Thai artillery landed nearby. Spokesperson Maly Socheata said the plushie, nicknamed Anṭaek, “was never at risk, either physically or psychologically,” despite being positioned inside an active trench during the exchange. Socheata dismissed questions about whether Anṭaek should have been removed from the area, explaining that the mascot holds the rank of Major General and therefore “cannot abandon his post during heightened tensions.” According to the ministry, Anṭaek was present to […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Photos Show PM, Finance Minister Socializing With Suspected Scammer](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-photos-show-pm-finance-minister-socializing-with-suspected-scammer/): Prime Minister Anutin Charnvirakul and Finance Minister Ekniti Nitithanprapas are under heavy scrutiny after photos surfaced showing them casually socializing with Ben Smith — a South African businessman whose alleged ties to a major international scam network led Thailand’s Anti-Money Laundering Office to seize 9 billion baht (US $310 million) in assets — although they both downplay the connection as saying the interactions occurred years ago.   What do you think? Sirin Paetongtarn Phurit Opacity Adjuster Daddy’s Girl Boxcar Attendant “What, just because they met multiple times, in multiple locations, and under multiple circumstances, I’m supposed to infer that there was something […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Pig Is Transported 1,600 Km After Being Rescued From Floods](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-pig-is-transported-1600-km-after-being-rescued-from-floods/): Volunteers aiding flood victims in Hat Yai found a pig perched on a spirit house, gave it fresh water and vegetables, then transported it 1,600 km to a new home in Udon Thani, naming it Bon Rood, or Lucky Survivor.   What do you think? Jirawat Kanyaporn Sutasinee Shrimp Instructor Cardboard Attendant Wire Twister “Yeah, I was definitely wondering what happened to my wife.” “It’s always nice to know where your dinner came from.” “I heard the neighbors are already asking the pig to pick next week’s lottery numbers.” Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [HEARING VOICES: Bangkok Prison Officials Deny Female Inmates Were Used As Sex Slaves](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-bangkok-prison-officials-deny-female-inmates-were-used-as-sex-slaves/): Coming on the heels of an investigation into whether Chinese prisoners paid bribes for VIP treatment, Bangkok Remand Prison officials are now being accused of forcing female prisoners into providing sex services to male guards and inmates in a room hidden under a staircase, while tissues containing semen and empty condom boxes were found nearby, although Corrections Department director Prawut Wongsinin has dismissed the allegations as “fake news” and urged the public to be cautious before sharing them.   What do you think? Fritz Thanawat Chanikan, Prapaporn, Milin Sex Pest Screw Whores “I guess I’m willing to go to prison now.” “How […]
- [Tourists Face Lifelong Queues In Thailand](https://notthenation.com/tourists-face-lifelong-queues-in-thailand/): KRABI — Across Thailand, tourism queues have reportedly expanded into full human lifespans, as travelers wait decades for ferries, temples, and anything with a Tripadvisor star rating. At Bang Rong Pier, experts now estimate 8.2 million people are in line for a ferry to Koh Yao Yai, with a projected wait time of 83 years. The end of the queue currently trails into Laos. “I joined the queue in 2016,” said Shauna Williams, 36, of Kingsbridge, clutching a faded boarding pass. “The Tourist Police told me I’m scheduled to board in August 2099 — assuming no weather delays.” To manage […]
- [NotTheNation To Launch New AI Service](https://notthenation.com/notthenation-to-launch-new-ai-service/): LOEI — Standing before a crowd of tens-of-thousands of dedicated readers, NotTheNation editor-in-chief Sherly “Prima” Watkins unveiled what she called “a bold revolution in Southeast Asian satire,” announcing the launch of NTNAI, a new system she claimed would finally “bring cutting-edge redundancy to the modern reader.” According to Watkins, NTNAI will allow audiences to instantly retrieve summaries of articles they are already reading, generate personalized headlines that are identical to existing ones, and provide “emotionally calibrated outrage recommendations” based entirely on the last three seconds of user behavior. She added that NTNAI can also autofill the search bar with the […]
- [HEARING VOICES: King Maha Vajiralongkorn Makes Official Visit To China](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-king-maha-vajiralongkorn-makes-official-visit-to-china/): King Maha Vajiralongkorn and his wife, Queen Suthida, made their first official visit to China, meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping and his wife, Peng Liyuan, to mark the 50th anniversary of diplomatic ties between the two countries.     What do you think? Supaporn Korn Jantira Neighborhood Gossip Onlooker Apologist “Queen Suthida, huh? Were his previous three wives unavailable?” “You know, I almost didn’t even recognize him without his tank-top on.” “I bet we still have more Uigurs to surrender.” Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [NotTheNation Readers Confronted With Article That Makes Them Uncomfortable](https://notthenation.com/notthenation-readers-confronted-with-article-that-makes-them-uncomfortable/): WORLD — Upon loading the Southeast Asian satire site and clicking the latest headline, NotTheNation readers around the world were confronted with a serious topic that made their palms sweat and forced them to look away from their screens for an uncomfortably long time, desperate not to absorb the details of what appeared to be a pretty fucking important news item involving life and death on a massive scale. Luke Carter, 39, of Port McConnell, reportedly complained that “this isn’t what I want to read when I come to Thailand’s #2 satire site.” According to anonymous sources familiar with the […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Central Plains Provinces Warned As Chao Praya River Floods Region](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-central-plains-provinces-warned-as-chao-praya-river-floods-region/): The remnants of tropical storm Kalmaegi have flooded northern rivers which feed into the Chao Praya, so the Royal Irrigation Department has raised the discharge rate at station C.2 in Muang district of Nakhon Sawan province from 2,800 cubic metres per second to 2,900 m3/s, while 15 provinces on the central plains have issued alerts because of flooding.     What do you think? Rinrada Phonlalin Kittisan Woraphet Prasert Lertbun Kerchief Waver Window Sash Inspector Bible Thumper “Oh, believe me, I get it. It’s been a heavy flow week for me, too.” “Suddenly, I am much less concerned about having drowned my […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Former Prince Andrew Alleged To Have Brought 40 Prostitutes To Bangkok Hotel](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-former-prince-andrew-alleged-to-have-brought-40-prostitutes-to-bangkok-hotel/): British royal historian Andrew Lownie alleges that the man formerly known as Prince Andrew invited 40 prostitutes to his five-star hotel room in Bangkok over a period of four days during a taxpayer-funded trip serving as the UK’s trade envoy.     What do you think? Phuwadol Khamsanit Sirathep Wongjiraphan Kanokwan, Pimchanok, Thipwara Monkey Butler Junior Drywaller Bedroom Attendants “Doesn’t sound suspicious to me. He was probably just quizzing them on the history of the electrification of Bangkok’s outer suburbs.” “Well, you’re certainly not going to bring forty prostitutes to a two-star hotel, are you?” “Oh, yeah. We remember him. Talk about […]
- [Ancient Corruption Infrastructure Rumbles To Life To Grift Off Of Death Of Queen Mother](https://notthenation.com/ancient-corruption-infrastructure-rumbles-to-life-to-grift-off-of-death-of-queen-mother/): BANGKOK — Following the passing of Her Majesty Queen Sirikit The Queen Mother, Thailand’s ancient corruption infrastructure has rumbled back to life, emitting the familiar scent of overpriced contracts and ceremonial graft. Officials report that as soon as the palace announced her death, centuries-old gears beneath the Treasury began to turn, automatically approving inflated budgets for crematorium construction, commemorative coins, and 12-part TV dramas about filial piety. Royal family historian Chalermsak Wongsuwan explained that the “sacred machinery of graft” has been maintained continuously since the Ayutthaya Kingdom, when nobles first discovered that national mourning provided excellent cover for creative accounting. […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Women's Underwear Thief Caught On Camera](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-womens-underwear-thief-caught-on-camera/): A 31-year old woman in Chon Buri has filed a third report alleging theft of underwear from her home, while police say that the CCTV cameras she installed after the second incident have helped them identify the suspect and they expect an arrest soon.       What do you think? Somchai Dechchai Safiya Chotibmah Kittipong Ratchanon Unemployed Blacksmith Guy with Gun “Oh, uh, if he gets arrested, does that mean the position will be available?” “Some ladies have all the luck, huh?” “Victoria’s Secret is the one who is really profiting from this.” Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [HEARING VOICES: Festival Decorations Change Causes Criticism](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-festival-decorations-change-causes-criticism/): Following the Queen Mother’s death, Chiang Mai Mayor Assanee Buranupakorn ordered the local Yi Peng festival’s colorful flower installations repainted black as a gesture of mourning, drawing outrage from area residents who said the original artists were never consulted, while People Party MPs demanded an inquiry into the 14.6-million-baht contract awarded to a single company overseeing the city’s Yi Peng, Songkran, and floral festival displays.     What do you think? Chayanisa Kositkul Kritsada Phanich Waraporn Jindarat Volume Adjuster Box Stacker Type Setter “I made the same mistake. I also painted my personal flower black in solidarity, and my boyfriend got really […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Police Arrest Eight Suspects In Nana Drug Bust](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-police-arrest-eight-suspects-in-nana-drug-bust/): Forty police officers — 20 of them disguised as construction workers pouring concrete — launched a surprise late-night raid codenamed “Take Down Black-Shadow Nana,” arresting eight Nigerians and one Thai who were part of a coordinated cocaine-smuggling and distribution ring in the tourist-heavy Nana-Asoke area.   What do you think? Chalermchai Srisuk Nattapong Khamdee Busaba Phongnarin Load Lifter Police Sergeant Cable Twister “I knew those construction workers were fake the minute they failed to vibrate their forms.” “This is such bullshit. My captain promised that it was my turn to play dress up this time!” “Oh, no! Where will tourists buy cocaine […]
- [AWS Outage Causes ‘Smart Buffalo’ Technology To Fail Across Thailand](https://notthenation.com/aws-outage-causes-smart-buffalo-technology-to-fail-across-thailand/): KUSA KON — Chaos spread through Thailand’s agricultural heartland Monday as the global AWS outage crippled the nation’s new “Smart Buffalo” program, leaving thousands of cloud-connected bovines unresponsive in the field. Farmers reported herds freezing mid-plow, rebooting during feeding time, or wandering off to search for Wi-Fi. “It keeps showing the spinning circle, then just stares at me,” said Somchai Phromma, 47, who bought his Bluetooth-enabled buffalo under a government subsidy promising “precision grazing.” Engineers advised owners to download a new temporary version of the software and re-pairing it through an app that was also down. The Ministry of Digital […]
- [Israelis Forced To Relax And Enjoy Island Raver Lifestyle, While Avoiding IDF Deployment](https://notthenation.com/israelis-forced-to-relax-and-enjoy-island-raver-lifestyle-while-avoiding-idf-deployment/): KOH PHANGAN — As the Gaza War rages on, hundreds of Israelis have found themselves trapped in the tropical paradise of Thailand, with dozens forced to participate in nominee schemes, and even more subjected to the harsh lifestyle of attending all-night raves, using recreational drugs at all hours, and enjoying the carefree attitude associated with imbibing expensive alcoholic drinks. “I wish I could be back home, fully kitted out in ceramic plate carriers, Ops-Core helmets, and carrying Tavor X95s, committing war crimes against the mostly unarmed civilians of Gaza,” said Eitan Lavon, 26, of Tzamarot Ayalon. Instead, he is stuck […]
- [Death Admits Botched Job After British Expat Requires Three Car Collisions To Die In Chiang Mai](https://notthenation.com/death-admits-botched-job-after-british-expat-requires-three-car-collisions-to-die-in-chiang-mai/): THE SHADOW LANDS — In a long, rambling press conference held before the gates of the Realm of the Dead, Death offered a rare public apology for what should have been a routine “asleep-in-his-bed, natural-causes” departure and instead became a bloody, body-dismembering, “total body crunch” involving three vehicles and dozens of unnecessary witnesses in Chiang Mai. Death, visibly agitated, opened his remarks with a sigh that rattled the microphones. “Yeah, I’m going to have admit a big mea culpa here,” he said, tapping the lectern with his skeletal fingers. “We usually run a tight ship down here. I’m proud of […]
- [Thai Police Arrive Ready To Contaminate Crime Scene](https://notthenation.com/thai-police-arrive-ready-to-contaminate-crime-scene/): PHETCHABURI — Responding to the discovery of a woman’s body tied to a log and floating in a pond, officers from Nong Ya Plong Police Station arrived swiftly at the scene, ready to immediately contaminate it. After securing the area with a single traffic cone stolen from the highway division and a strand of blue thread pulled from an old t-shirt from a previous crime scene, Lt. Col. Phanupong “Thao Plao” Saelim and Col. Jiraporn “Mai Pen Rai” Wattanakul began methodically undermining every known procedure for evidence collection. Lt. Col. Phanupong “Thao Plao” Saelim, far left, seen here not giving […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Supreme Court Reduces Tax Evasion Fine By 85%](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-supreme-court-reduces-tax-evasion-fine-by-85/): The Supreme Court has reduced Philip Morris Thailand’s tax-evasion fine by 85%, from 130 million baht ($3.9 million) to just 20 million baht ($613,250), after finding the company had circumvented tax obligations and excise duties in violation of the Customs Act by smuggling L&M and Marlboro cigarettes between January 2002 and August 2003 into the country from abroad, while also dismissing charges against one employee and acquitting another.     What do you think? Prasert Wichian Kittipong Maneerat Nurul Hidaya Chehusoh Amulet Organizer Ant Surveyor Mango Hoarder “On the advice of counsel, I’ll be invoking Philip Morris v. Thailand in my upcoming […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Durian Tycoon Offers Vigilante Reward For Assault On Son's Mistress](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-durian-tycoon-offers-vigilante-reward-for-assault-on-sons-mistress/): Arnon Rodthong, owner of a durian empire, has publicly offered 30,000 baht through a Facebook post to anyone willing to slap his son’s mistress — who also happens to be married to Arnon’s nephew — in a bid to defend his daughter-in-law and pressure his son to end the affair.   What do you think? Sasithorn Meechai Teerasak Boonchai Noppadon Krittayapong Elephant Waiter Bamboo Salesman Pol. Lt. Gen. “I’ll need at least a full season lakorn of 25 episodes to even begin understanding what the hell is going on here.” “Any mercenary worth his fee stays miles away from family drama like […]
- [Thaksin Unlocks Infinite Pardon Glitch](https://notthenation.com/thaksin-unlocks-infinite-pardon-glitch/): BANGKOK — Although technically incarcerated, Thaksin Shinawatra has once again demonstrated his mastery of Thailand’s legal code by triggering an “infinite pardon glitch” that resets his sentence each time the system tries to enforce it. Earlier this month, the Supreme Court ruled his six-month residency in a hospital’s VIP wing didn’t qualify as prison time, but instead of extending his sentence for previously circumventing his punishment, the verdict simply opened a new pardon path. His eight-year conviction has already been reduced to one year by royal commutation, and now his lawyer has stacked another petition for clemency on top, citing […]
- [Court Rules No Constitutional Ban on Dog Serving as Prime Minister](https://notthenation.com/court-rules-no-constitutional-ban-on-dog-serving-as-prime-minister/): BANGKOK — Thailand’s Constitutional Court has ruled that Namtan, a stray dog adopted by a gas station attendant and later gaining viral social media fame as a PTT employee, is legally eligible to serve as prime minister. In the majority opinion, Court President Nakarin Mektrairat ruled against the Pheu Thai Party, writing that the bench could “find no article in the charter that explicitly prohibits a dog from assuming executive office.” Khemthong Tonsakulrungruang, a constitutional scholar at the University of Bristol, said the decision rests on firm precedent, citing the 1976 case Gus, which held that a mule could play […]
- [Thai Film Executives Unveil Abhisit Reboot For 2026 TV Season](https://notthenation.com/thai-film-executives-unveil-abhisit-reboot-for-2026-tv-season/): BANGKOK — GMMTV is launching a 2026 reboot of Abhisit, the primetime lakorn that ended its original run in spectacular fashion more than a decade ago. First launched in 2008, the series earned decent ratings for its writing and pacing, before producers demanded an over-the-top finale so gratuitously violent it triggered protests outside the film studio and a swift cancellation, clearing the slot for rival Shinawatra Studios’ spinoff Yingluck (which was also cancelled mid-arc by government censors for featuring a bizarre subplot overly focused on rice). Surprising everyone for developing a small, but cult audience on streaming, Abhisit has quietly […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Koh Samui Villas Under Investigation](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-koh-samui-villas-under-investigation/):  An investigation by the National Anti-Corruption Commission (NACC) into luxury villas on Koh Samui has discovered 93 violations across 24 locations, including construction in environmentally protected areas where building permits are not allowed, as well as possible money laundering of 300 million baht (9.3 million USD) from mysterious foreign accounts.   What do you think? Wilawan Thepsiri Suthep Virasakdi Fritz Project Manager, Zog Villas National Anti-Corruption Commissioner Sex Pest “What was I supposed to do? Just say ‘No’ to massive amounts of money?” “After a thorough review of my increased bank balance, along with anonymous, scary phone calls at night, and a […]
- [Abandoned Elephant Calf Prompts Military-Grade Rescue](https://notthenation.com/abandoned-elephant-calf-prompts-military-grade-rescue/): HUAI SUEA, Kanchanaburi — An abandoned elephant calf in Lam Khlong Ngu National Park was rescued late Sunday after the 1st Army Region deployed a full array of forces and materiel, responding to an emergency beacon activated by local villagers. According to officials, the villagers, upon discovering the weakened newborn unable to follow its mother, triggered a high-frequency homing device issued under the Ministry of Interior’s “Community Wildlife Alert” program. Within three minutes, signals reached the Royal Thai Army Rescue Command Center in Bangkok, where the elite 501st Royal Thai Elephant Rescue Response Group was immediately mobilized. Thai Special Operations […]
- [Thai Military Launches Anniversary Coup](https://notthenation.com/thai-military-launches-anniversary-coup/): BANGKOK — On the 19th anniversary of the 19 September 2006 coup that toppled the Thai Rak Thai government and sent Thaksin Shinawatra into 15 years of self-imposed exile, the Thai military marked the occasion with an “Anniversary Coup.” “Plenty of bands do reunion tours — we figured it was time to relive our glory days by peacefully storming Government House and Parliament,” said now-retired Sonthi Boonyaratglin, 78, former army chief and architect of the original coup, grinning from the hatch of an M41A3 Walker Bulldog as he clattered down Phitsanulok Road. “Our old comrade Sathiraphan Keyanon isn’t with us […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Corrections Department Denies Thaksin Threw Pizza Party For 6,500 Guards, Inmates](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-corrections-department-denies-thaksin-threw-pizza-party-for-6500-guards-inmates/): Watchara Phetthong, a former MP for the Democrat Party, made public accusations last week that Thaksin Shinawatra purchased pizza for 6,500 guards and inmates in an attempt to build influence at Klong Prem Central Prison, although Kanokwan Jiewchuaphan, a deputy spokeswoman for the department, said this was not the case, and that “certain outsiders” had paid for the pizza for guards directing traffic outside the facility. What do you think? Chakrit Wongpanich Wirote Phanthong Thaksin Shinawatra Inmate #22568190 Senior Correctional Officer Billionaire “Five thousand pizzas and not a single one without durian.” “Mr. Thaksin’s vig is on a sliding scale.” “These accusations […]
- [HEARING VOICES: British Tourist Alleges Attack By Transgender Gang In Pattaya](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-british-tourist-alleges-attack-by-transgender-gang-in-pattaya/): Mr. Duncan, 65, a British tourist, says he was attacked in his Pattaya hotel room by a group of transgender women after arranging sexual services with two of them, only for four to arrive and demand ฿10,000 each when he asked them to leave.   What do you think? Chonlada & Kanya “Twin Engines of Destruction” Prasert Wichian Chanipa Srisuk Ladyboys Molding Carver Analyst Expert “We don’t believe the accusations. He wanted it bad, and when it came to his doorstep, he chickened out.” “Four ladyboys are locked-up and lonely? Say no more! I’m on my way to bail them out right […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Thaksin Sentenced To One Year In Prison](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-thaksin-sentenced-to-one-year-in-prison/):  After initially avoiding jailtime by obtaining a falsified medical exemption, Thaksin Shinawatra has finally been incarcerated in Klongprem Central Prison for a term of one year, where he will be marked as a medium-security inmate and may be assigned to work in the library or assist with medical services given his proficiency of the English language.   What do you think? Nopparut Chansiri Teerasak Boonchai Sahra Anusorn Elephant Analyst Big C Manager Banana Plantation Historian “Look, as long as Tony Jaa plays him in the movie.” “Honestly, if he can survive Thai politics, he can survive sharing a squat toilet with […]
- [NotTheNation Reporter For Nepal Gets Big Career Break As Security Forces Gun Down Protesters](https://notthenation.com/notthenation-reporter-for-nepal-gets-big-career-break-as-security-forces-gun-down-protesters/): KATHMANDU — As protests against the government spread out from the capitol and into the surrounding suburbs, longtime NotTheNation stringer and Kathmandu native, Prakash Adhikari, 33, has finally been given an assignment from his editor at NTN. “Get out there and cover those protests,” said Editor-In-Chief Abraham Bonds, before hanging up to resume sipping a tequila mixer at Laem Had Beach, on Ko Yao Yai Island. “This is a lucky break for my career. My last article for NTN was back in 2008, and I’ve been waiting 17 years for another assignment. Maybe I can get a promotion and even […]
- [Thaksin: "I Only Left Thailand So I Could Come Back"](https://notthenation.com/thaksin-i-only-left-thailand-so-i-could-come-back/): DUBAI — As concerns grow that Thaksin Shinawatra has once again fled Thailand just before a court ruling that could see him jailed, the former prime minister insisted his departure was proof of his commitment to the country. “I only left Thailand so I could come back,” he told 97 Thai journalists over a Line video call from his Bombardier Global 7500 jet, cruising at 43,755 feet somewhere above the Arabian Sea. Thaksin is due before the Supreme Court on Tuesday, 9 September, for a ruling in the so-called “14th Floor Case,” which accuses him of faking illness to serve […]
- [Chaos Erupts Among Trump Officials After Cabinet Meeting](https://notthenation.com/chaos-erupts-among-trump-officials-after-cabinet-meeting/): WASHINGTON, D.C. — Absolute mayhem and confusion erupted in the hallway outside the White House Cabinet room, as Trump Administration officials threw punches, grabbed hair, and tore each other’s clothes after a more than three-hour meeting concluded, in which betrayal, broken promises, and secret agreements were exposed. “That cunt stole my line!” screamed Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer, accusing Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard of using her intended praise for President Trump’s work on behalf of American laborers herself. “That’s not even her department! We had a deal!” she fumed, stalking back and forth, while refusing treatment from EMTs for […]
- [Nothing Happened Today In Thai Politics](https://notthenation.com/nothing-happened-today-in-thai-politics/): BANGKOK — Nothing newsworthy happened today in Thai politics. Thailand, like so many of Southeast Asia’s famously robust and highly transparent democracies, is a constitutional monarchy that easily implements citizen-focused reforms without interruption, produces long-lasting administrations, and enjoys a National Assembly that has only grown steadily more powerful since its establishment in 1932. Observers attribute this stability to the clear separation of powers between parliament, the monarchy, the military, and the judiciary — each respecting its own narrow role. The royal family, for example, is widely known to have stepped back from politics after voluntarily surrendering absolute authority in 1932. […]
- [Expats Nostalgic For Exact Specific Moment of Pattaya Life](https://notthenation.com/expats-nostalgic-for-exact-specific-moment-of-pattaya-life/): PATTAYA — Long-term expats are lamenting the latest wave of changes sweeping the city, claiming it has destroyed the delicate balance of scams, grifts, and workarounds that once made Pattaya “paradise.” “I just want Pattaya to go back to exactly how it was in 1995,” said British expat Trevor Bexley, 68, from Romford. “Not like 1985, before I discovered it and was able to set up shop and things started to get cool, and not like 2005 either, because that’s when that smarmy American, Mitch Patterson, moved in across the street and started doing better than me. No, exactly like […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Police Seize Over 41 Tonnes of Beef, and Organ Meat Soaked In Formalin In Pathum Thani](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-police-seize-over-41-tonnes-of-beef-and-organ-meat-soaked-in-formalin-in-pathum-thani/): Thanks to an anonymous tip, officers from the Consumer Protection Police Division (CPPD), and the Livestock Development Department, raided a cold storage warehouse in Klong Nueng, where they seized 41.771 tonnes of beef lacking proper legal import documentation, as well as a “large quantity of organ meat,” with indication that much of it had been soaking in barrels of formalin—more commonly known as formaldehyde, a chemical that is often used to preserve bodies—and that this beef had been sold to shops and restaurants in Bangkok and throughout the neighboring provinces. What do you think? Nopparat Phusadee Kittisak Boonmee Oranicha Wattanakul Cloud Spotter […]
- [Thai Criminal Networks Pivot To Micro Scams](https://notthenation.com/thai-criminal-networks-pivot-to-micro-scams/): BANGKOK — Thai criminal networks are retooling their business model, according to a press release from the Thai Criminal and Scam Network Association (TCSNA), which urged affiliates to scale back to 50–300 baht scams instead of the sector’s previous average haul of 114,000 baht per hustle. “The Bank of Thailand’s new daily transfer cap of 50,000 baht initially looked disastrous,” admitted TCSNA spokesperson Surasak Phonwiset. “We feared layoffs of hundreds of members dressed in unwashed athletic shorts and cheap flip-flops, plus deferred payments on high-rise condos, supercars, and megayachts for the scam organizers who actually make money at the top.” […]
- [Thailand To Replace Outdated Cambodian Series With Upgraded Sri Lankan Model](https://notthenation.com/thailand-to-replace-outdated-cambodian-series-with-upgraded-sri-lankan-model/): BANGKOK — Following a report from the Ministry of Commerce, Thailand’s import commodities council—composed of government officials, industry representatives, private equity stakeholders, and precisely zero end-users—announced plans to retire the long-running Cambodian import line. Once a reliable cross-border commodity for centuries, the model has become increasingly difficult to source after clashes disrupted established supply chains, leaving warehouses bare and distributors scrambling for substitutes. “The unit has now reached obsolescence,” said Somchai Rattananukul, deputy analyst at the Federation of Thai Industries (FTI). By contrast, the new Sri Lankan edition is being introduced under a government import contract with fixed quotas and […]
- [Convicted Murderer and Kidnapper ‘Uncle Phol’ Secures Prison Canteen Product Endorsement Contract](https://notthenation.com/convicted-murderer-and-kidnapper-uncle-phol-secures-prison-canteen-product-endorsement-contract/): MUKDAHAN — Moments after being sentenced to 26 years in prison for the kidnapping and premeditated murder of his niece, Chaiphol “Uncle Phol” Wipha unveiled a slate of lucrative prison canteen product endorsements. Beneath the gates of Mukdahan Provincial Prison, Uncle Phol stood flanked by his lawyer, celebrity agent, manager, and a row of grinning marketing executives beside a display of items prisoners covet most. “It is with great pleasure that we announce a new marketing collaboration with Uncle Phol,” beamed Pojjana Paniangvait, Director of Thai President Foods PCL, maker of MAMA instant noodles, gesturing toward a table stacked with […]
- [Bangkok Developers Exchange Fire as Condo Price War Erupts](https://notthenation.com/bangkok-developers-exchange-fire-as-condo-price-war-erupts/): BANGKOK — A full-scale price war has broken out in Bangkok’s real estate market, shattering a fragile detente among the city’s top developers to keep prices at a premium. Sansiri, one of Thailand’s largest luxury property firms, ambushed its rivals with a 20-percent price cut on units at its FLO by Sansiri development in Khlong San. “That attack was entirely unprovoked,” Mr. Veravit Sattayanon, Executive Vice President of Product Development at Pruksa Real Estate, said, astonished that anyone would attack him or his company. “It was pure horror. Two of my best agents were caught in the blast zone when […]
- [Malaysia to Host Thailand and Cambodia in Diplomatic Three-Way](https://notthenation.com/malaysia-to-host-thailand-and-cambodia-in-diplomatic-three-way/): KUALA LUMPUR — Malaysia announced Monday it will host Thailand and Cambodia in what officials are calling a “frank, good-faith diplomatic three-way” aimed at defusing weeks of escalating border hostilities and restoring long-term regional stability. The trilateral session, to be held in the secure Grand Hyatt Kuala Lumpur penthouse suite, is expected to bring all three parties together behind closed doors for an intensive, hours-long exchange of positions, with each side encouraged to lay everything on the table and explore creative ways to satisfy mutual needs. Thailand is expected to bring its famously well-trained professionals, adept at keeping multiple partners […]
- [Cambodia to Adopt New Border Map Drawn at 1:4.5 Trillion Scale](https://notthenation.com/cambodia-to-adopt-new-border-map-drawn-at-14-5-trillion-scale/): PHNOM PENH — Cambodia announced it will discard all previous official maps of the kingdom, traditionally drawn at a scale of 1:200,000, in favor of a new national standard: 1:4,500,000,000,000. The shift, unanimously approved by parliament, is intended to “more accurately reflect Cambodia’s borders in the region,” according to Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Prak Sokhonn. Speaking from a third-grade classroom at Preah Ponlea Primary School, Sokhom gestured to a map of the solar system, and explained that the new borders define Cambodia’s sovereign territory as a disc-shaped area roughly 2.8 billion kilometers across—spanning the orbits of Mercury through […]
- [Cambodians Shocked Ancient Shamanic Ritual Ineffective at Killing Thai General](https://notthenation.com/cambodians-shocked-ancient-shamanic-ritual-ineffective-at-killing-thai-general/): NAKHON RATCHASIMA — Thailand’s 2nd Army Region commander, Lt Gen Boonsin Padklang, was declared in perfect health Thursday, despite a Cambodian death ritual in which shamans repeatedly stabbed and ultimately torched a poster of his likeness. The ceremony, led by Col Shaman Chhorn Dara of the Supreme Curse Division and Lt Col Shaman Vann Sothearith of the 2nd Necromancy Battalion, featured chanting, a ritual trident, and a choreographed sequence of blows delivered to an oversized polyvinyl photograph of Boonsin before it was set ablaze. Dara insisted the rite should have worked, noting that “my family has cursed generals the same […]
- [Injured Soldier Briefly Used as Political Accessory Before Being Casually Discarded](https://notthenation.com/injured-soldier-briefly-used-as-political-accessory-before-being-casually-discarded/): UBON RATCHATHANI — Suspended Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra thanked hospital staff for arranging what she called “a deeply healing PR opportunity” during her visit to an injured soldier from the Thai-Cambodian border conflict. “Being seen sympathizing with a wounded conscript really helps people forget I casually insulted the 2nd Army Region Commander and fumbled a call with Hun Sen,” said Paetongtarn, pausing for a ring-light adjustment before retaking a teary selfie with Sgt. Thanapat Huiwan, which her team immediately captioned “💔🇹🇭 #PrayForOurHeroes #PMOnDuty.” While Culture Ministry officials described the meeting as “unofficial,” three staff from crisis consultancy Midas PR Group […]
- [Digital Casualties Mount as Thailand Loses Online Ground to Cambodia](https://notthenation.com/digital-casualties-mount-as-thailand-loses-online-ground-to-cambodia/): BANGKOK — Despite securing key border positions in last week’s physical conflict, Thai forces suffered a devastating defeat Monday on the internet front, as Cambodian operatives overran nationalist Facebook pages and ratioed top influencers into silence. “We secured our borders, but we forgot to provide reinforcements to the meme war flank,” said Lt Gen Boonsin Padklang sadly, moments before his Twitter Livestream was flooded with clown emojis and photoshopped images of him wearing a Khmer army uniform. Under siege from comment shelling, major Thai streamer defenses on TikTok collapsed, with many influencers signaling complete surrender by abandoning posts mid-reply after […]
- [Thai–Cambodia Conflict Escalates as Thai and Cambodian Sex Workers Encounter Each Other in Hotel Room](https://notthenation.com/thai-cambodia-conflict-escalates-as-thai-and-cambodian-sex-workers-encounter-each-other-in-hotel-room/): RAYONG — Bloodshed and violence broke out tonight after a Thai sex worker and a Cambodian sex worker engaged in a firefight on the sixth floor of the Crystal Jade Hotel on Sukhumvit Road, in the Noen Phra neighborhood of the city. British expat Nigel Mullen, 57, originally from Wythenshawe, had secretly arranged what he intended to be a threesome with Nanthiya Srisopha, 35, and Reaksmey Phorn, 28—neither of whom was aware of Nigel’s private plan to include another woman in his bedroom activities. He first invited Reaksmey to his hotel room and asked her to wait in the adjoining suite. […]
- [TAT Physicists Confirm Thailand Caught In Asymptotic Approach To Reach 40 Million Annual Visitors](https://notthenation.com/tat-physicists-confirm-thailand-caught-in-asymptotic-approach-to-reach-40-million-annual-visitors/): PHUKET — A team of physicists advising the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) has confirmed that the agency’s long-standing goal of welcoming 40 million annual tourists lies beyond the realm of physical possibility. The nation’s arrival numbers, they explained, are caught in an asymptotic trajectory—one that draws ever closer to the target without actually reaching it—due to fundamental mathematical limits of commercial airspace saturation and Suvarnabhumi’s gate checks and escalator capacity. “Despite having run thousands of simulations, the Kingdom’s top physicists and engineers are unable to define parameters sufficient to enable the final 40 millionth tourist to clear Immigration within […]
- [Forensic Evidence Indicates A "Second Pointer" at Temple Incident](https://notthenation.com/forensic-evidence-indicates-a-second-pointer-at-temple-incident/): Temple Ta Muen Thom — As investigators from the Crime Investigation Bureau (CIB) descended on the location of Wednesday’s brutal pointing incident, newly revealed evidence confirms the presence of a “second pointer.” “We will not allow Cambodia to push the narrative that this was the work of a lone pointer,” said CIB Commander Pol Lt Gen Jiraphop Phuridej, noting that forensic analysis indicates the second pointer had taken up a concealed position on a grassy knoll behind a durian stall. Eyewitnesses reported conflicting angles of finger trajectory, with one soldier claiming he was pointed at from both 3 and 9 […]
- [Thailand Issues Declaration of War After Cambodian Points at Thai Army Troops](https://notthenation.com/thailand-issues-declaration-of-war-after-cambodian-points-at-thai-army-troops/): Ta Muen Thom Temple — Acting Thai Prime Minister Phumtham Wechayachai declared war against Phnom Penh today after a Cambodian, whose exact purpose at the temple remains under review, deployed a pointing gesture at Thai army troops. “Pointing is an act of open and hostile aggression against our army troops, and we take that threat seriously,” said Phumtham Wechayachai, citing an incident report filed by Lt. Gen. Boonsin Padklang, commander of the 2nd Army Region and responsible for troops along the Cambodian frontier. According to after-action summaries from Thai army officers stationed at Temple Ta Muen Thom, which translates as […]
- [Expat Forced To Deploy Fake Understanding Nod As Locals Discuss Evolving Domestic Political Situation](https://notthenation.com/expat-forced-to-deploy-fake-understanding-nod-as-locals-discuss-evolving-domestic-political-situation/): THONGLOR — As Australian expat Lachlan Reid, 36, sat down with his Thai co-workers for dinner at the elevated casual Aubrey Cafe, the conversation immediately turned to Thailand’s political deadlock and the uncertain future of the once-dominant Pheu Thai Party. As Sorawit, Nanthira, Prakarn, and Jiraporn volleyed sharp takes about parliamentary arithmetic, constitutional amendments, and whether the Orange bloc would back Chaikasem or Anutin as interim PM, the Brisbane native realized with horror that he had no idea what any of them were talking about, despite having lived and worked in Thailand for the past seven years. “Shit, I knew […]
- [Thai Government Reaffirms Thai People Will Continue Pointing At Things](https://notthenation.com/thai-government-reaffirms-thai-people-will-continue-pointing-at-things/): BANGKOK — The embattled Thai government, led by the teetering Pheu Thai Party, reaffirmed today that Thai people will continue pointing at things, regardless of geopolitical uncertainty, or internal institutional collapse. “We are a nation of people who point at things,” declared acting Prime Minister Phumtham Wechayachai to a joint session of parliament and 281 media outlets from across Asia and the Pacific Rim. “Whether the thing is good or bad, overpriced or counterfeit, a source of pride or deeply shameful—we will point at it.” The statement was met with thunderous finger pointing. Phumtham then unveiled a 37-minute PowerPoint presentation […]
- [Thai-Cambodian Criminal Networks Reaffirm Cooperative Agreement Despite Mutual Government Tensions](https://notthenation.com/thai-cambodian-criminal-networks-reaffirm-cooperative-agreement-despite-mutual-government-tensions/): Ban Khlong Luek – Poipet — Criminal networks spanning both sides of the Thai-Cambodian border have renewed a decades-old pact to continue engaging in criminal activity as long as it remained profitable to both sides, sources confirmed today. Whether selling computer hardware into Cambodia to power scam networks, providing undocumented workers to toil in Thailand’s construction and trades sectors at below-market rates, or facilitating cross-border gambling operations, “there’s too much money at risk to let an ancient border dispute jeopardise millions in untaxed revenue,” said an anonymous source, seated in the back of a customised Mercedes-Benz S-600 Guard, complete with […]
- [Thai Horoscope: July 2025](https://notthenation.com/thai-horoscope-july-2025/): RAT — ‘Excessive’? ‘Disturbing’? A ‘hazard to the safety of others’? What does any of this even mean? Ignore the haters, and just go! Go! Go! OX — Prepare emergency extraction protocols. TIGER — While a comeback is still possible, the family business may not be a good fit for you, after all. RABBIT — You know what? We’re fed up! We’ve had it! You try negotiating with a madman! DRAGON — Your snake-charming skills are rapidly improving, although your eyelids are growing heavy, your skin feels clammy, and it’s suddenly hard to breath in here for some reason… HORSE — […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Wat Khun Samut Chin Facing Severe Erosion, Rising Sea Levels](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-wat-khun-samut-chin-facing-severe-erosion-rising-sea-levels/): Wat Khun Samut Chin, located in Samut Prakan and built during the era of King Rama V (1868 – 1910), once had 76 rai of land surrounding its temple, but soil erosion and rising sea levels have shrunk its temple grounds to five rai of usable land, while Dr Sonthi Kotchawat, who studies climate change, says that Bangkok could be entirely submerged by flooding by 2050 because of the effects of global warming and coastal erosion.    What do you think? Nattapol Sriwongsa Veerasak Jantarapornchai Kanyarat Thepsuwan Asphalt Kingpin Cord Splicer Siamese Crocodile Agitator “The government is way ahead of you fearmongers. […]
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Burmese Junta Apologises After Bombing School; "We Were Aiming For The Orphanage"](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-burmese-junta-apologises-after-bombing-school-we-were-aiming-for-the-orphanage/): The destroyed school in Oe Htein Kwin village in Tabayin township in Sagaing where 20 students were killed, and two injured teachers later died
- [HEARING VOICES: Hun Sen Accuses Thai PM of Treason](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-hun-sen-accuses-thai-pm-of-treason/): Hun Sen, Cambodia’s former prime minister and current senate president, escalated tensions with Thailand by accusing Thai PM Paetongtarn Shinawatra of treason for insulting Lt Gen Boonsin Padklang during a private phone call, quoting her as saying he “was an opponent of Thailand and would say anything to make himself look cool,” and warning her not to try fooling him or using political tricks to gain an advantage.      What do you think? Teerasak Anuwatpanich Natcha Woranitkul Siriporn Lertchaiya Volume Adjuster Catfish Attendant Big C Archivist “You know, this shameless attempt at getting me to despise our prime minister is vindictive […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Political Reset Looms As Court Battles Draw Near](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-political-reset-looms-as-court-battles-draw-near/): With the Bhumjaithai Party having left the ruling coalition, July is set to be a turbulent month in Thai politics, as Paetongtarn’s parliamentary majority has narrowed to just 10 votes, the NACC has launched an ethics probe into leaked audio of her phone call with Hun Sen, and numerous court proceedings are set to take place soon, including Thaksin’s lèse-majesté trial next week, while the Constitutional Court is scheduled to hear a Senate petition that could remove her from office, a corruption case over the Senate election is on the docket, and royalists are planning a major protest at Victory […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Modern Trends Mix With Traditional Beliefs In Growing Faith-Based Economy](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-modern-trends-mix-with-traditional-beliefs-in-growing-faith-based-economy/): Entrepreneurs are combining ancient traditions and rituals with the latest technology to bring Thai cultural heritage experiences to the digital realm with online Feng Shui consultations and app-based fortune telling, as well as lucky phone number businesses, selling blessed mobile phone cases, and “fortune-enhancing” digital wallpapers as people seek spiritual advice in helping make choices in their romantic relationships, health decisions, career prospects, and personal finance, marking an increase in Thailand’s soft power around the world.     What do you think? Chanin Boonmee Atthakorn Suksawat Nannapat Worasiri Coconut Appraiser Spiritual Content Creator Klong Historian “King Chulalongkorn modernized Siam with railways and […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Political Activists Accuse Prime Minister of Death Penalty Offence](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-political-activists-accuse-prime-minister-of-death-penalty-offence/): Two political activists from Khon Kaen have filed a police complaint against Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra over the contents of a leaked phone recording between her and former Cambodian prime minister Hun Sen, alleging she violated several sections of the Criminal Code—including sedition, abuse of office, dereliction of duty, and breaches of national security, the last of which carries the death penalty if convicted.       What do you think? Chatchawan Rattanasak Kamonchanok Saengmanee Wirote Thongchai Pineapple Plantation Security Systems Adjuster Insurance Tester “Personally, I think only the king should be allowed to commit treason.” “Let he who has never casually […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Ruling Coalition On The Rocks](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-ruling-coalition-on-the-rocks/): The ruling Pheu Thai-led coalition, under PM Paetongtarn Shinawatra, is two years into its four-year term, and severe cracks are beginning to appear, as economic uncertainty, legal pressures, and shifting alliances threaten the ten-member party agreement, with Pheu Thai demanding to control the Interior Ministry in any future cabinet reshuffle, cabinet members threatening each other, and the “Sweet Tamarind” minority faction seen wooing majority coalition member Bhumjaithai’s Newin Chidchob at dinner.     What do you think? Sutthida Premwong Chanwit Daoruang Gen. (Ret.) Surasak Lertchai Pheu Thai MP for Phitsanulok Bhumjaithai spokesperson Coup Advisor “We’re united in our desire to remain in […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Cambodia To Ban Thai Films, Curb Imports, Shorten Visas For Thai Tourists](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-cambodia-to-ban-thai-films-curb-imports-shorten-visas-for-thai-tourists/): In response to Thai extremist groups who want to cut off electricity and internet exports to Cambodia, Hun Sen has instructed his government’s Ministry of Information to cease local broadcasting of all Thai movies and television shows effective at midnight on Friday, redirect internet traffic through other countries, curb imports, and reduce the length of visas for Thai citizens in a continuing escalation of the cold war between the two countries over the recent border clash.      What do you think? Sreyneang Rithy Sokha Corn Silk Braider Casino Baron Temple Surveyor “Wait, no more Thai TV? But I still don’t know […]
- [HEARING VOICES: British "Influencer" Recovers Stolen Lamborghini After Eight Years In Thailand](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-british-influencer-recovers-stolen-lamborghini-in-thailand/): Mark McCann, a British influencer and racing enthusiast, finally managed to recover his £220,000 (9.7 million baht) Lamborghini Huracan Spyder, after international thieves scammed him for the keys and then sent the supercar to Thailand, although it took eight years, and he faced numerous obstacles before finally recovering the vehicle.     What do you think? Nanticha Prasertkul Rohani Sulaiman Kittiphong Boonmee Som Tam Critic Lottery Winner Mosquito Net Collector “It’s always nice to see the rich get what they deserve.” “Congratulations to the car for surviving eight Songkran festivals unscathed.” “I would’ve given up after month two and bought a Fortuner […]
- [Thai Horoscope: June 2025](https://notthenation.com/thai-horoscope-june-2025/): RAT — That modified exhaust and wheelie really shut everyone up, didn’t it? So what if you’re going to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair? OX — Really, things could go either way for you. Establish contingencies. TIGER — Cut the dead weight. Confirm your alliances. RABBIT — Dying on the toilet really wasn’t how you expected to go. Others should learn from your mistake, and take that prescribed medication. DRAGON — You really lucked out, didn’t you? Do something nice for your co-workers to show your appreciation. HORSE — Don’t allow your enemy time to recover. Hit […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Thai Officials Visit Cambodia To Defuse Border Conflict](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-thai-officials-visit-cambodia-to-defuse-border-conflict/): In light of the recent border clash, Deputy PM Phumtham Wechayachai led a delegation to Phnom Penh to meet with their Cambodian counterparts to discuss operational procedures and ease border tensions, with both sides agreeing to strengthen pre-existing diplomatic channels, while after the meeting, Phumtham shared a post on his personal Facebook page an official statement from the Second Army Region imploring Thai citizens and regional officials to be aware of “conflicting images and reports” and “rely on official updates from trusted sources” in order to prevent “public confusion.”     What do you think? Suthep Boonraksa Kamonchanok Srisawat Teerachai Jirawong Rice […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Yellow Shirt And Red Shirt Leaders Form Alliance](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-yellow-shirt-and-red-shirt-leaders-form-alliance/): Sondhi Limthongkul, former head of the Yellow Shirt-aligned People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD), and Jatuporn Prompan, former chair of the Red Shirt-affiliated United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship (UDD) have put aside their historical differences to form a group they call Guardians of the Land pledging to recruit one million members within three years, declaring that “the nation has deteriorated in every respect. The situation has moved beyond reform — it may require revolution and a complete purge” with the goal of driving Thaksin and his family members from power.     What do you think? Kritsada Boonchai Supansa Wetchakun Surasak Nimitwanich […]
- [President Trump Making It Difficult For American Expats To Attract Thai Date Partners](https://notthenation.com/president-trump-making-it-difficult-for-american-expats-to-attract-thai-date-partners/): PATTAYA — U.S. President Trump has reportedly soured the dating market in Thailand when it comes to American expats trying to land dates with Thai girlfriends and boyfriends, according to scores of frustrated men who have come to the kingdom looking for love. “Things were going really well on my date last night with Pimnara, but when I told her I was an American, she immediately stood up from the table, said there wasn’t room in her life for two dysfunctional governments and walked out,” said Scott Markle, 29, originally from Fort Dodge, Iowa. Pimnara says she loves long walks […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Thailand To Develop Local Hot Springs Into International Destinations](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-thailand-to-develop-local-hot-springs-into-international-destinations/): The Ministry of Tourism and Sports has identified 118 hot springs throughout the country and unveiled a three-part plan to develop the naturally-occurring phenomena into tourist destinations in an effort to compete with Japanese-style ‘Onsen towns’ and European ‘spa towns’, with locations all over the country, including urban, rural, and natural hot springs.     What do you think? Fritz Chanon Kittisakorn Amina Wae-hama Sexpest Gravimetric Isolator Flip Phone Enthusiast “Honestly, it’ll be a struggle to masturbate at an additional 118 public locations, but I’ll do my best.” “There’s nothing like relaxing into a 40° C hot spring when the air is […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Former British Stewardess Arrested In Sri Lanka With 46 Kgs of Cannabis](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-former-british-stewardess-arrested-in-sri-lanka-with-46-kgs-of-cannabis/): After departing Bangkok, Charlotte May Lee, 21, a former British stewardess, was arrested in Colombo on suspicion of trafficking 46 kgs of synthetic marijuana—although she claims someone else stuffed her luggage with the drugs while she was out partying the night before she left—and is now being held in Negombo Prison under conditions she has labeled as “awful”, noting, “There are no beds, no blankets. And where you sleep is like a long corridor with lots of other women,” adding that she feels her human rights are being ignored, as she been forced to use a jumper for her pillow, […]
- [HEARING VOICES: British Teen Arrested In Georgia On Suspicion of Drug Trafficking After Visiting Thailand](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-british-teen-arrested-in-georgia-on-suspicion-of-drug-trafficking-after-visiting-thailand/): A British teenager, Bella Culley, 18, who boasted of wanting to live a ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ lifestyle on social media, has been arrested in Tbilisi, Georgia and is awaiting trial on suspicion of trafficking 14 kgs of marijuana and hashish from Thailand.     What do you think? Jiranan Kedsirintra Sakda Rattanamongkol Teerapong Chansiri Umbrella Historian Elephant Burglar Thai Customs Officer “She said she wanted to live a ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ lifestyle, huh? Sometimes it pays to watch till the end of the movie.” “Has anyone checked on how much diplomatic pull Britain has in Georgia these days?” “Oh yeah, I remember her. […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Temple Abbot Accused of Embezzling ฿300 Million for Online Gambling](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-temple-abbot-accused-of-embezzling-%e0%b8%bf300-million-for-online-gambling/): After eight months of investigation by police, an abbot in Nakhon Pathom has turned himself over to authorities after being accused of embezzling 300 million baht (€8,070,597) from temple funds, as well as borrowing millions more from other temples, which he then spent gambling at online websites, specifically baccarat.     What do you think? Nattapong Virakul Kanokwan Thepparat Siriporn Lertchaiya Bearing Ball Sorter Pineapple Guard Fish Responder “I thought there was something weird going on when I made my last donation, and the Abbot told me we all suffer, but some of us suffer with a side bet on Player Pair.” […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Germany Blocks Sale of Engines to China Meant for Thai Submarine](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-germany-blocks-sale-of-engines-to-china-meant-for-thai-submarine/): Because of a European Union arms embargo on China, the German government has prevented a local manufacturer, MTU, from selling engines to China to be used in submarines meant for the Thai Navy, despite China and Thailand already having worked out a contract for three vessels.     What do you think? Rohana Sulaiman Chaiwat Boonmee Kanokwan Theppharat Soup Bowl Rotator Khlong Organizer Soi Dog Inspector “Have they tried turning it into a paddleboat?” “German engineering, you say? Just as good the deal didn’t work out. Those engines probably would have failed after eighty million miles, anyhow.” “Just park it next to […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Bangkok SWAT Team Raids Illegal Online Gun Dealer](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-bangkok-swat-team-raids-illegal-online-gun-dealer/): Two men—Suppasit, 31, and Natthakiat, 29, who also sold vintage clothing and accessories, who went by the nicknames “New” and “Peach” respectively—were arrested after neighbors informed police that the pair were offering modified guns for sale on Facebook, at prices ranging from a few thousand to tens-of-thousands of baht, attracting many customers, including gangs of technical students who often engaged in violent skirmishes.     What do you think? Thiraphat Rojanakul Nattanicha Prasertying Kittikorn Saelim Chopstick Designer Toggle Painter Dumpling Analyst “Nothing like being able to pick up a pair of 1993 stonewashed Levi’s with the button fly, and a modified full-auto Glock at […]
- [Crime Suppression Division Busts Gambling Network, B50m Assets Seized](https://notthenation.com/crime-suppression-division-busts-gambling-network-b50m-assets-seized/): BANGKOK — Authorities announced Sunday that a major illegal gambling network operating across Thailand’s lower northeastern provinces has been dismantled, with 13 suspects arrested and 50 million baht in illicit holdings confiscated during a coordinated sweep of 14 locations. The Crime Suppression Division (CSD) led the operation across Buri Ram, Ubon Ratchathani, and Si Sa Ket provinces. The targeted network—known as “Tee Yai 888”—is believed to have operated since 2022, facilitating online baccarat, football betting, and slot games, and laundering hundreds of millions of baht through front companies. Pol Maj Gen Withaya Sriprasertparp, Commander of the CSD, discusses giving awards […]
- [Thais Uncertain How To Bribe New Cyborg Police Officer](https://notthenation.com/thais-uncertain-how-to-bribe-new-cyborg-police-officer/): NAKHON PATHOM— Various criminal elements across greater Bangkok expressed concern this week over how to deal with Nakhon Pathom’s newest police officer, Pol Col Nakhonpathom Plod Phai—particularly when it comes to offering a bribe. The AI-powered Royal Thai Police officer was first deployed during this year’s Songkran Festival and has since been assigned regular shifts with Provincial Police Region 7. Despite his imposing frame and real-time facial recognition, locals are still unsure how to approach him with the usual “arrangements.” “Honestly, it makes me nervous,” said Witthaya Rattanapong, 51, chao pho of the Nakhon Pathom Van Operators group. “How do […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Drunk Belgian Tourist Smashes Wine Bottles At Pattaya Convenience Store](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-drunk-belgian-tourist-smashes-wine-bottles-at-pattaya-convenience-store/): A drunk tourist from Belgium smashed numerous bottles of wine on the floor of a Pattaya convenience store, was later arrested and then agreed to pay 35,000 baht in compensation.     What do you think? Phuwadon Rattanachai Chanida Theerakul Kittisak Suksomboon Cat Thrower Heiress Candle Sniffer “I’m not surprised. The Germans drink, the Brits fight, and the Belgians self-destruct trying to choose between the French and Dutch label.” “When I heard a bottle worth 5,000 baht had been shattered, I wept. Then I saw the label was Australian and felt so embarrassed. I mean, can you imagine crying over the loss […]
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Petition Denied To "Maybe Celebrate A Holiday Without A Bunch of Accompanying Road Deaths"](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-petition-denied-to-maybe-celebrate-a-holiday-without-a-bunch-of-accompanying-road-deaths/): A formal petition to the Transportation Ministry asking if it was at all possible to celebrate a Thai Holiday without “Seven Deadly Days” of road accidents was denied recently, according to a NotTheNation exclusive. “Whether it is New Year’s, Songkran, or an extended holiday weekend, the government loves to post accident numbers of deaths and injuries like it’s some kind of scoreboard,” said petitioner Natcha Wongsuwan. Ms. Natcha said she thought it was reasonable to ask Transportation Minister, Mr. Suriya Juangroongruangkit, to consider celebrating just the holiday and not all the gore of people being smeared across the pavement. At […]
- [Thailand To Host 'NepoBABY 2025' Conference](https://notthenation.com/thailand-to-host-nepobaby-2025-conference/): BANGKOK — Thailand’s proud tradition of inherited wealth and legally immune underachievement will take center stage this weekend, as Bangkok hosts the NepoBABY 2025 Conference, 26 April – 2 May —the world’s premier event for people who peaked in the womb. A “nepo baby”—short for nepotism baby—is someone who has achieved fame, wealth, or professional success by emerging from a well-connected uterus. While often confused with “influencers” or “actual people,” nepo babies are a separate species, genetically predisposed to land film roles, fashion lines, or diplomatic passports without discernible talent or effort. “As a proud Nepo Baby myself, it is […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Blaze Guts Debt-Burdened Hotel & Spa](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-blaze-guts-debt-burdened-hotel-spa/): The five-star Dhara Dhevi Hotel in Chiang Mai, which was purchased for 2.11 billion baht in December 2023 and carried 4.3 billion baht worth of debt, saw its two-story, 2,000 sq m spa destroyed by fire early Wednesday morning, with reports confirming the building was closed at the time, the power shut off, and no injuries.     What do you think? Anurak Suthamchai Napat Kanchanapong Teerachai Phanumas Fixer Mulberry Taster Unemployed Student “Let’s see… off the top of my head, you’re gonna need bribes for the local administrative officials, disaster prevention authorities, public works representatives, forensic investigators, and Mae Ping Police […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Chinese Couple Caught Making Sidewalk Sex Video In Pattaya](https://notthenation.com/draft-6/): Two Chinese tourists, a man and a woman, were arrested for having sex on a public sidewalk in Pattaya and filming it, although they claim they were unaware doing so was illegal.     What do you think? Lek Pradit Suksawat Chonlada & Kanya “Twin Engines of Destruction” Bargirl Freelance Botanist Ladyboys “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” “Yeah, I read the same article. I’m rather upset the Bangkok Post didn’t bother to report on which positions they chose, or even how many times they went at it. No wonder so many people are cancelling their subscription.” “Pattaya should […]
- [NotTheNation Snubbed Again By Lèse-Majesté Nominating Awards Committee](https://notthenation.com/notthenation-snubbed-again-by-lese-majeste-nominating-awards-committee/): BANGKOK — For the 18th year in a row, local satirist publication NotTheNation has been snubbed by the Lese-Majeste Nominating Awards Committee, failing to be nominated for a single award in any of the 13 categories. The Lese-Majeste Awards are given each year to people, publications, or media programs that best insult, mock, belittle, or defame the ruling Thai monarch, their immediate family, or any member of the extended Royal Thai Family, or merely imply that the Thai military has undue influence in politics. The judges meet each year in mid-April, where they vote for candidates for various categories, including […]
- [Thailand’s Condo Developers Turn Toward Ancient Prophecy to Resolve ฿1.1 Trillion Debt Crisis](https://notthenation.com/thailands-condo-developers-turn-toward-ancient-prophecy-to-resolve-%e0%b8%bf1-1-trillion-debt-crisis/): BANGKOK — As Thailand’s condominium sector groans beneath sales rates that encourage suicide and the weight of ฿1.1 trillion in outstanding liabilities, a coalition of increasingly desperate real estate developers and institutional investors have turned to the only solution they believe remains: fulfilling an ancient Buddhist prophecy by sending a chosen emissary to climb the legendary Debt Mountain. Thought to possess the sacred mechanics of moving unsold units and postponing repayments without incurring litigation, the karst formation—believed to be hidden in a mist-shrouded region of central Thailand—is referenced in obscure passages of the Khata Phra Kan Ngern, a little-known scripture […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Possible Nescafe Instant Coffee Shortage In Thailand](https://notthenation.com/draft-5/):  After Nescafé coffee owner Nestle declined to renew its contract with its Thai manufacturer and distribution partner, Quality Coffee Products Co., a court injunction has forbidden Nestle from producing, outsourcing, distributing, or importing instant coffee products under the Nescafé brand throughout Thailand, causing many local coffee shops and customers to worry about where their next cup of coffee might come from.         What do you think? Phawinee Thongchamrat Tanakrit Wetchamongkolchai Jirasak Lueksakul Spectator Rice Noodle Investigator Opportunist “Chanel 5 looks forward to bringing you the latest on all the riots that will definitely happen because of this.” “It’s […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Groups Opposing Casino Complex Demand Bill Be Withdrawn](https://notthenation.com/draft-4/): Groups opposing the government’s casino bill rallied in front of parliament to protest in favor of their cause, claiming that a casino would have negative consequences for both the Thai people and the nation, including increasing the prevalence of money laundering and other crimes, while the government insists that it can come to an understanding with constituents that would ultimately legalise gambling.     What do you think? Pimchanok Suksawat Chanon Thongchai Kritsada Wongsuwan Buffalo Doctor Police Captain Floor Appraiser “Has the government tried explaining how much money it can make from rigging the dice?” “If the casino bill fails, and you […]
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Dad Gives The Wrong Child Keys To The Kingdom](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-dad-gives-the-wrong-child-keys-to-the-kingdom/): Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Auditors Auditing Office of the Auditor General To Be Audited](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-auditors-auditing-office-of-the-auditor-general-to-be-audited/): “Audit them. Audit them all.” The PM said. Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Malaysian Tourists Throw It All Away For A Heineken](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-malaysian-tourists-throw-it-all-away-for-a-heineken/): “It was worth it. It was worth every second,” and “I would do it all over, again.” The two men were reported as saying. Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
- [HEARING VOICES: Steel Used In State Audit Office Building Fails Test](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-steel-used-in-state-audit-office-building-fails-test/): Xin Ke Yuan Steel, the manufacturer who supplied the steel rebar used in the now-collapsed State Audit Office Building, disputes allegations from the Iron and Steel Institute of Thailand that material recovered from the disaster site failed to pass standard safety tests.     What do you think? Preecha Kittisakmontri Nattaya Siripongchai Anan Thongraksit Retired Astronaut Candle Economist Macro Analyst “Everybody knows there’s big money to be made in the counterfeit steel market.” “They can cry all they want, but if the steel bars failed boron content and microstructure analysis under TIS 20-2561, additional testing will only confirm those results unless the samples […]
- [HEARING VOICES: Building Collapses After Earthquake](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-building-collapses-after-earthquake/): A massive 7.7 earthquake in central Burma on Friday led to the collapse of the State Audit Office, which was under construction in Bangkok by Italian-Thai Development Plc and China Railway No. 10, killing at least 19, with dozens more injured, and 77 still missing.   What do you think? Sorawich Thephasadin Nattanicha Wimonrat Kittisak Ruengrit Crocodile Beautician Boba Tea Historian Coconut Enthusiast “At least they hadn’t installed the windows yet. I mean, could you imagine all of that broken glass?” “Oh, the Italian-Thai Development company? Isn’t that the same corporation that was building the expressway bridge on Rama II that also […]
- [Disaster Response Led by Woman Whose Only Crisis Experience Involved Room Service Delay](https://notthenation.com/disaster-response-led-by-woman-whose-only-crisis-experience-involved-room-service-delay/): BANGKOK — As rescue workers search for survivors and engineers assess the wreckage, Thai Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra finds herself out of her depth—though not, notably, under any rubble. A 7.7-magnitude earthquake centered in central Burma rocked Bangkok over 1,000 kilometers away. A 30-storey building under construction—future home of the State Audit Office—collapsed into a heap of concrete and steel. Three construction workers are confirmed dead, with 68 injured and hospitalized. Rescue crews continue to search for survivors. “I have a Master’s in International Hotel Management,” explained Prime Minister Paetongtarn from the backseat of her chauffeured Mercedes-Maybach S600 Pullman Guard. […]
- [Thai PM Accidentally Hands Control of Government to Online Scammers](https://notthenation.com/thai-pm-accidentally-hands-control-control-of-government-to-online-scammers/): BANGKOK — After tapping an unknown link sent to her phone, Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra briefly ceded full control of the Thai government to online scammers, sources confirmed Tuesday. The incident reportedly occurred during a cabinet meeting while Deputy Minister of Labour Amphol Phongphanit was delivering a presentation on unemployment statistics. According to insiders, the Prime Minister was scrolling through her phone when a pop-up ad appeared offering her 15% off her next Pizza Hut order. Pictured above, the Thai PM totally giving a shit about whatever your problem is “Mr. Amphol is so boring. He’s always talking about Wave […]
- [HEARING VOICES: 'Girls Love' Genre Could Become Soft Power Source](https://notthenation.com/draft-3/): Kiatiya Saisanan, a professor of Journalism and Mass Communication at Thammasat University, said that the ‘girls love’ genre, showcasing romantic relationships between two female characters, could become a “global hit”, giving Thai cast and crew a chance to highlight sexual diversity in ways that have not previously been explored.   What do you think? Nattaphon Visetsiri Fritz Chanikan Tharathip Pineapple Expert Sexpest Bar Girl “Wow, is she going to be disappointed when she learns about the internet.” “Where? Where can I watch?!” “Honestly, girl-on-girl is kinda boring for me at this point.” Contact Us: info at notthenation dot com
- [HEADLINE NEWS: Hmong American Woman Deported to Lao](https://notthenation.com/headline-news-hmong-american-woman-deported-to-lao/): Ma Yang was deported to Lao on March 6, 2025 “She went from one country where a single political party controls all levers of government to another country where a single political party controls all levers of government. Honestly, I doubt she’ll notice the difference,” said immigration industry analyst Cristóbal Yánez.
- [HEARING VOICES: US Bans Thai Officials Who Deported Uyghurs](https://notthenation.com/draft-2/): US Secretary of State Marco Rubio announced visa bans for an unspecified number of Thai officials who participated in recently deporting 40 Uyghur refugees back to China.   What do you think? Sitiwara Mahanurak Thiraphat Jantawong Nopphon Sakdina Spoon Inspector Railing Expert Re-adjuster “I’m not happy agreeing with Marco Rubio, but he’s right.” “Oh, no! A limited number of Thai officials can no longer temporarily visit the country that does nothing when dozens of their school children are slaughtered in a mass shooting! The loss, I mean, it’s tragic.” “They will still let me go to Disneyland, right?”
- [Thailand Sells Out Refugees, Forgets to Ask Price](https://notthenation.com/thailand-sells-out-refugees-forgets-to-ask-price/): BANGKOK — Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra admitted that she is “not very good” at negotiating, following revelations that she gave China everything it wanted during her recent visit without securing any concessions for Thailand. Paetongtarn, whose previous experience in governance consists of being Daddy’s Favorite Girl, met with Chinese President Xi Jinping—who has spent nearly five decades consolidating power—to discuss regional security, scam centers, trade, and the fate of 48 Uyghur refugees detained in Thailand since 2014. “It was during our trade talks that President Xi somehow got the upper hand,” she said, still perplexed by what had happened. “He […]
- [HEARING VOICES: International Criminal Court Arrests Rodrigo Duterte](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-international-criminal-court-arrests-rodrigo-duterte/): The former Filipino president, Rodrigo Duterte, was arrested on an ICC warrant and forcibly sent to The Hague where he will face charges of crimes against humanity for his war on drugs, which saw thousands of people murdered without due process by police forces, hitmen, and vigilantes.   What do you think? Sara Duterte Imelda Marcos Emilio Magtanggol Vice President of the Philippines First Lady of the Philippines, 1965 – 1986 Convenience Store Expert “Geez. You commit one crime thousands of times, and suddenly it’s a big deal.” “Too bad Ronnie wasn’t still around to fly him to Hawai’i, or something.” “How […]
- [HEARING VOICES: High Ranking Police Officer Fired, Will Not Receive Pension](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-high-ranking-police-officer-fired-will-not-receive-pension/): After losing out on a promotion to a rival with connections to the Crown Property Bureau, Police General Surachate “Big Joke” Hakparn has been fired and will probably lose his pension after allegedly being connected to an online gambling network.   What do you think? Thanapol Rattanapong Wichan Supasiri Kanyarat Chonburi New Guy Spoon Expert Unemployed “Crown Property Bureau? No wonder he lost, nobody fucks with them.” “Genuine corruption resulting in legitimate punishment, or just on the losing side of a turf war? Hard to say.” “Nobody respects the hustle, anymore.”
- [HEARING VOICES: Multiple Countries Offered To Resettle Uyghurs Thailand Deported To China](https://notthenation.com/hearing-voices-multiple-countries-offered-to-resettle-uyghurs-thailand-deported-to-china/): Thailand deported 40 Uyghur refugees to China after holding them in detention for over a decade, ignoring asylum offers from the United States, Canada, and Australia, despite international warnings they will face torture and forced labor.   What do you think? Kittisak Chaiyanan Wichai Sakdathorn Paetongtarn Shinawatra Bird Nest Collector Khlong Expert Complicit Enabler “That sounds really terrible, but at least China is going to buy our excess sugar now, right?” “We bent over for the Japanese, then for the United States. Why not give China a turn?” “Don’t distract me with this bullshit. These are the things I have to do […]
- [U.S. Fish and Wildlife Grants Don Jr. Special Permit to Hunt Thundercats](https://notthenation.com/u-s-fish-and-wildlife-grants-don-jr-special-permit-to-hunt-thundercats/): WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has officially granted Donald Trump Jr. a special hunting permit to pursue any one of the critically endangered Thundercats on the planet of Third Earth, according to a press release. Trump Jr., an avid outdoorsman and professional failson, has already notched successful hunts of Steelwill of the SilverHawks, Gruffi Gummi of the Gummi Bears, and even Earl Sinclair of Dinosaurs. “I love hunting big and exotic game,” said Trump Jr., sniffing audibly. “I’ve taken down all the greats: a Care Bear, a My Little Pony, and a few Smurfs. Got Rinox’s […]

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