MH370 Search Planes Spot Floating Rohingya Refugees, Dismiss As “Unrelated Debris”

SOUTH INDIAN OCEAN – The ongoing saga of locating Malaysia Airlines flight 370 took another disappointing turn today as search planes discovered that many of the large objects seen by satellites were just floating rafts full of Rohingya refugees. At approximately 8am this morning Perth time, a US navy P8 aircraft passed over what initially appeared to be a large floating object, the first human contact... 

1 in 4 Bangkokians Suffering From Post-Traumatic Whistle Disorder

  BANGKOK – Following months-long protests on the streets of the nation’s capital, physicians are now reporting that a shockingly high percentage of city’s residents are experiencing serious medical problems directly related to the sustained endurance of Thai political theater. In a new paper published in this month’s Journal of Asian Medicine, doctors and researchers at Bangkok General... 

TAT Launches “Totally Amazeballs Thailand” Campaign

BANGKOK – In a concerted effort to rehabilitate the kingdom’s image as an attractive tourist destination in light of ongoing political unrest, the Tourism Authority of Thailand today announced a major new international PR campaign, headed by a new slogan. “Amazing Thailand, Always Amazes You, Totally Amazeballs” was unveiled via a massive ten-meter wide banner this morning at a press conference... 

Suthep Leaves Protests For Emergency Whitening Treatment

BANGKOK – Suthep Thaugsuban, secretary-general of the People’s Democratic Reform Committee (PDRC) took a break from his relentless anti-government campaign yesterday to undergo a preventive medical procedure to re-whiten his skin. Citing “the need to maintain the proper image at all times,” the PDRC made the decision on Thursday to get Suthep out of the sunlight and into a clinic where he... 

Prayuth Urges Thais To Keep Bombings In South Where They Can Be Safely Ignored

  BANGKOK – The army chief directed a strong statement today at the culprits of the recent grenade attacks against anti-government protesters, reminding them that acts of terrorism belong only in Thailand’s deep south. “Violence does not solve our problems, and acts of violence will not be tolerated in the kingdom,” said General Prayuth Chan-ocha at a press conference. “Except in the...