Thais To Honor Wheelchair-Bound King By Paralyzing Bangkok

BANGKOK – The 88th birthday of His Majesty the King Bhumibol Adulyadej was celebrated nationwide this week, culminating in a planned massive, city-wide paralysis of the capital of Bangkok to take place this Friday. Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-Ocha has declared the event, which is expected to make movement within the city impossible, a demonstration of unity among the Thai people. “Our beloved... 

NotTheNation Writer Surprised To Learn He Is Actually Some Dead Guy Named Craig

BANGKOK – Staff  writers at NotTheNation, whose identities remain undisclosed, were surprised to learn Saturday that at least one of them was actually a recently deceased Australian journalist names Craig Knowles. The startling revelation came shortly after Saturday’s Wat Klong Toey Nok funeral service for Knowles, who passed away in early October from an unknown complication from illness. Following... 

Possible Targeting Of Chinese Tourists Puts Shitty, 3-Star Hotels On High Alert

BANGKOK — The fallout from Monday’s deadly bomb attack on the popular Erawan shrine continued as rumors that Chinese tourists were deliberately targeted began to affect business that cater to to them. In particular, 3-star hotels with tasteless, mirror-panel decor were reported to be on raised alert as tensions remained high throughout Thailand. “Our clientele is about 90% mainland... 

Prayuth Rides Horse Shirtless, Wrestles Monitor Lizard

NAKHON SAWAN PROVINCE – Thailand’s Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-Ocha made a bold policy statement today about his administration by riding a horse while topless  in front of reporters. The press event, which was billed as a “comprehensive discussion of the important pillars of Thailand’s prosperous future” took place at the Division 3 Royal Thai Army Base in Nakhon Sawan. At 9 am reporters... 

Thai Navy Pushes Full-Moon-Party-Raver Ferry Out To Sea

Hundreds of sunburned, unshowered North American and European tourists set adrift indefinitely   KOH PHANGAN – The Royal Thai Navy has controversially refused to let a ferry full of backpackers, island party-goers, and other low-budget tourists  land on Thai soil, citing national security reasons and issues of Thai sovereignty. The Phangan Prince, a diesel-powered 150-seat wooden boat operated...