RAT — That modified exhaust and wheelie really shut everyone up, didn’t it? So what if you’re going to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair?
OX — Really, things could go either way for you. Establish contingencies.
TIGER — Cut the dead weight. Confirm your alliances.
RABBIT — Dying on the toilet really wasn’t how you expected to go. Others should learn from your mistake, and take that prescribed medication.
DRAGON — You really lucked out, didn’t you? Do something nice for your co-workers to show your appreciation.
HORSE — Don’t allow your enemy time to recover. Hit them again and prepare your final strike.
SNAKE — You’re in the big leagues now, so you better not fuck this up. Your dad is in the other room and is still watching.
SHEEP — Roll the dice again, and hope for a better outcome. Your bank balance is insufficient for upcoming challenges.
MONKEY — Watch where you pour your grease. This is a society, not Mad Max.
ROOSTER — The jig is up and authorities have discovered your nominee scheme. Your profits are forfeit. Where will you go now?
DOG — Bro, what the fuck?
PIG — You’ve successfully faked your drowning, and left your family behind. What’s next?
Phra Buddhaghosacariya has been reincarnated as Chatmongkol Chantarachai, a Thai school boy, and blesses NotTheNation every month with his sage wisdom.
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