PAD Seizes French Embassy

Protesters accuse France of Republican ideas, 18th-century lèse-majesté

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The PAD rallies, frothing for the blood of those who would uplift their fellow destitute man

BANGKOK – Citing the need to preserve the constitutional monarchy under His Majesty the King, some 600 members of the People’s Alliance for Democracy stormed the embassy of the Republic of France this morning. Climbing over the fences and overpowering the guards, the PAD entered the actual embassy building at around 8:45 AM, overturning desks and breaking windows.

“The French influence must be removed from Thailand at once,” declared PAD leader Sonthi Limthongkul. “Since 1789, they have advocated dangerous and anti-Thai ideas about Republicanism, as well as violently overthrown the sovereignty of their king, Louis XVI.”

The French Ambassador, speaking by telephone from his office where he was barricaded behind several locked doors, expressed surprise at the attack, and insisted that the French presence in Thailand was not related to a secret conspiracy to declare Thailand a republic. However, the PAD rejected this as “propaganda from another Thaksin crony”, and said that their siege would continue until the French renounced their “corrupt populist” ideas of liberté, egalité, and fraternité.

The PAD has a longstanding policy of being against death and destruction unless they started it

The PAD also announced plans to storm the Greek embassy tomorrow, to protest their invention of representational government in 439 B.C.

Pericles, unaware of the amount of shit his fellow Greek citizens are going to have to eat 2,500 years into the future, naively inspires his fellow citizens to rise above their base nature
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