WASHINGTON DC – In spite of overcast skies and a weak winter sun, outgoing US Vice President Dick Cheney was forced to hunch over and shield his eyes from the light after emerging from his secret underground White House bunker for the first time in 15 months.
Witnesses say the pale-faced VP crawled through a trap door located in the Rose Garden, immediately fell to his knees and then choked on the crisp January air, as he re-acclimatized to life above ground.
White House officials say Cheney had to spend several hours forcing open the trap door, which had frozen over.
The last time Cheney went above ground was to kill animals.
