PAD, NPP Votes To Boycott Any Objective Measure Of Reality

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BANGKOK – The People’s Alliance for Democracy and their associated New Politics Party voted Monday to boycott the upcoming parliamentary election and any subsequent measures of reality that use objective data such as vote tally.

“The counting of votes to determine leadership is a failed policy,” said Suriyasai Katasila, NPP’s secretary-general, during the party’s annual assembly in Bangkok. “So is polling, the size of protest crowds, and the size of a movement’s actual membership.”

Assailing the so-called “tyranny of math,” the New Politics Party is calling instead for a “measurement of merit” system that uses subjective assessments of a person’s “inherent goodness” and “karmic accumulation” to determine his or her deserved influence in society.

“Thailand has always been led by our beloved King, whose merit places his influence above the millions of ordinary people,” explained NPP acting leader Somsak Kosaisuk. “Below him are the abbots and generals, righteous leaders of men who have clearly earned their place by actions in past lives.”

According to the NPP, the “one man, one vote” system is a perversion of true democracy and a Western idea incompatible with Thai values.

“Our astrologers have shown that most PAD members are wise souls who have been re-incarnated dozens of times,” said leader Chamlong Srimuang. “To assign these people only one vote is unjust.”

Somsak and Suriyasai agree on the biased nature of reality

Chamlong added that the dwindling numbers of protesters at PAD rallies actually showed that they were a growing movement.

“The fewer we are, the more righteous and valiant each of us becomes,” he said. “By fielding zero candidates in the election and garnering no votes, we will send a clear message about our mandate to lead this nation.”

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