BANGKOK – Just a week before crucial national elections, army chief Prayuth Chan-Ocha broke his self-imposed silence once again to warn the kingdom’s population about a “national crisis” related to poor service from dry cleaners.
Broadcast live on army-owned TV channels 5 and 7 yesterday evening, the general’s 20-minute speech was seen by an estimated 20 million people nationwide, during which he spoke on the need to change the direction of the country when it came to the professional ironing and starching of white shirts.
Imploring voters to only bring their clothing to dry cleaners with “strong moral character” and “the best intentions of the nation at heart,” the army chief then proceeded to single out a dry cleaning service near his house as an example of the “unacceptable professional and moral decay” that is threatening to destroy the kingdom and Thais’ shared values.
“I do not wish to take sides or express partisan preferences,” he said, “but the branch of Super Fast and Clean which is located at Sukhanphiban 5 soi 5 Yaek 2 in Tha Raeng district, for example, should improve its shirt-pressing quality and not use too much starch.”
During the broadcast of the speech, it was reported that heavily-armed soldiers of the 1st Division had surrounded the Super Fast and Clean branch in question, and that an armored car had parked across the street and aimed its 35mm gun at its door.
However, Prayuth insisted that any military action related to that particular dry cleaner was merely “precautionary” and executed out of concern for national security.
Nevertheless, the owners of the dry cleaner reportedly shut down their operations immediately and offered the general a refund of the ฿650 he had supposedly paid for the unsatisfactorily-ironed shirts, as well as the entire contents of their cash register, about ฿52,400, as an “apology” for “our favorite customer,” plus free dry-cleaning for the rest of his life.
In the conclusion of his speech, general Prayuth insisted that he was not speaking as an influential member of Thailand’s powerful military, but only as a concerned, ordinary citizen.
“The army does not interfere in the lives of the Thai people,” he said. “We serve at the pleasure of His Majesty, work to protect the pillars of nation, monarchy, and Buddhism, and never think of our own gain.”
Prayuth then re-asserted his promise not to speak again before the election.
