Beijing Arrests Fat Chinese Children Ahead of Olympics

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BEIJING – As part of its urban beautification program ahead of the upcoming Olympic Games, the Chinese government has rounded up all the fat children in the city and deported them to a detention facility in the suburbs. The state newspaper Xinhua reported that “China must present its very best image as an athletic and advanced nation,” quoting unnamed spokespersons. The removal of fat children from the view of visitors and press is seen as crucial to maintaining “Olympic Spirit,” the article went on to say. Parents of the detained children, who were rounded up by police armed with non-lethal electrical stun devices in city-wide sweeps over the weekend, have been notified by mail and can pick up their children on September 1. Reports that the children will undergo nutritional and fitness re-education could not be confirmed at press time. 

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