THIMPHU — In a short announcement broadcast over national radio, King Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck declared that “For the continued prosperity of the people of the kingdom, we shall surrender the modern in favor of the ancient.” He went on to state that fire and wheels would “separate us from our essential culture.”
According to government ministers, all cars, motorcycles, trains, carts, wheelbarrows, and other wheeled form of transport will now be disassembled for scrap, in favor of hand-carrying, sack-dragging, and elaborate manned palanquins in the case of royalty.
Fire, including internal combustion engines, diesel generators, cooking fires, and coal-fired electrical power plants will be extinguished permanently, sending the kingdom into total darkness and climate-dictated living conditions. Windmills are permitted, and are expected to take up the slack in compensating for the loss of electrical power.
A small nuclear power plant will be built for the king’s own palace, so he can continue to watch Arsenal games.
