Belying the current economic downturn, Big C President Yves Bernard Braibant announced that the supermarket chain will expand its stores by adding four more aisles of absolutely nothing.
Commenting on the expansion, Braibant said, “Our customers expect to walk around in a futile search for something of quality only to find nothing at all. This move will serve to enhance that experience.”
To make room for the empty shelves, the 3,000-square-meter Big C Supercenters, which carry a variety of goods equivalent to that of a 30-square-meter 7-11, will be forced to consolidate into fewer aisles their current contents of cooking oil, soda, Mama noodles and 45 varieties of potato chips.
“This will leave room for the four new aisles of pristinely vacant space,” Braibant said. He added that Big C would hire additional inattentive, do-nothing staff to stand around the empty section.
