BANGKOK – The Bangkok Mass Transit System Public Company Limited (BTSC) announced today that effective immediately all ticket prices on the BTS Skytrain would be increased by an order of magnitude. The announcement was also accompanied by evil laughter.
“Just add a zero to the old prices to calculate the new ones,” a press release stated. “Bwaaaahaaahaaahaahaaaa.”
The BTS website’s usual pages were replaced with a flash animation of BTS mascot Nuduan sitting atop a pile of money smoking a cigar.
“Your ass is ours,” he said. “Haaa haa haaaaa.”
The unexpected new pricing system is expected to massively increase BTSC revenues by 1000% while only reducing ridership by less than 10%. According to analysts and academics, the commuters of Bangkok have no choice.
“The roads of Bangkok are a nightmare at rush hour,” said Somprawin Manprasert, profesor of economics at Chulalongkorn University. “The fact is paying 400 baht to get home, while expensive, is still less painful than spending 90 minutes on Sathorn or Rama IV roads. We’re screwed.”
The 10X price increase is perfectly legal under the terms of the BMA concession, according to lawyers for the Abhisit government, which declined further comment on what it called “a provincial issue for the BMA to address.”
Bangkok governor Sukhumband could not be reached for comment.
Angry BTS commuters have planned a massive protest outside of BTSC headquarters this evening, with Twitter messages and Facebook groups quickly gathering public sentiment into what could be the largest political movement since the May riots
However, as of press time, all protestors were stuck in traffic.
