BANGKOK – In yet another startling twist to the hotly contested race for Bangkok governor, independent candidate Chuwit Kamolvisit has upped the stakes by promising to eliminate the physical office of governor entirely and replace it with a 4-year long series of billboards and posters.
“Bangkok is a stinking swamp of corruption and lies,” he explained at a recent press conference. “I will stay above the temptation of the office by never being in the office at all.” According to a ten-point outline distributed to the press, Chuwit plans to use the BMA budget earmarked for running the governor’s office and instead spend it on renting a series of large billboards located in strategic locations throughout the city. All decisions he makes as governor will be announced through the billboards, featuring giant stage-set photos of Chuwit acting out the decision.
“For example, if I approve a budget for, say, upgrading Bangkok’s parks, you’d see me on the billboards with my sleeves rolled up, pushing a shovel into the ground to plant some flowers,” he said. “That way you wouldn’t need to read about in the newspaper because you would know on your commute to work exactly what it is that I am doing for Bangkok.”
To demonstrate the system, Chuwit distributed a series of sample billboard mock-ups of himself doing “governor activities”: greeting foreign dignitaries under the headline “I’ll show them the REAL Bangkok!”; cutting the ribbon at a new shopping mall with a chainsaw (“I’m Bangkok’s REAL Bargain!”); reviewing an environmental-impact study for the widening of a 2-lane road with a huge microscope (“Secrets can’t hide from ME!”); and pushing an old diesel truck into a klong with his foot while holding a copy of pollution regulations in his hand (“I stomp on bad air!”).
Additionally, according to his outline, below-the-line media such as leaflets handed out at BTS stations by women wearing sexy uniforms could be used to supply additional details of any legislation or executive action, and the city budget, which Chuwit claims will contain “100% transparency for the first time ever,” would be printed on the side of the BTS trains for a month, “So everyone could review it in detail and see that I am not corrupt like that snake Apirak.”
Chuwit claims that his plan will save the city 330 million baht over 4 years, plus additional revenues that would be gained by renting out the current BMA government offices.
Reaction from Chuwit’s opponents was mixed. Democratic front-runner and incumbent Apirak Kosayodhin called it “an interesting idea,” while independent Leena Jang responded by setting herself on fire and then apologizing incoherently.
