BANGKOK — As rescue workers search for survivors and engineers assess the wreckage, Thai Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra finds herself out of her depth—though not, notably, under any rubble.
A 7.7-magnitude earthquake centered in central Burma rocked Bangkok over 1,000 kilometers away. A 30-storey building under construction—future home of the State Audit Office—collapsed into a heap of concrete and steel. Three construction workers are confirmed dead, with 68 injured and hospitalized. Rescue crews continue to search for survivors.
“I have a Master’s in International Hotel Management,” explained Prime Minister Paetongtarn from the backseat of her chauffeured Mercedes-Maybach S600 Pullman Guard. “And, while I’ve never held elected office, a crisis is a crisis. It’s all about managing expectations under pressure. We trained for high-stress scenarios—like when the buffet goes cold or the wedding photographer shows up drunk. I mean, have you ever tried to de-escalate a bride in full meltdown while the groom is missing and the flower wall collapses? We used to call that an earthquake. That’s peak operations stress, and if I can handle that sort of metaphorical earthquake, I am sure I can manage a real one.”
When asked what immediate measures she was taking to address the needs of the victims, Ms. Paetongtarn nodded. “Look, I’ll call my hairdressers—we’ll see if we can set up appointments for the victims. Everybody wants to look their best, even if it’s just for ICU selfies,” she continued, tapping at her phone to see which members of her personal hair and make-up team might have availability to visit patients in the hospital.
At the collapse site, a government spokesperson assured reporters that emergency manicure kits and skin care products were en route to help triage the victims. “The prime minister understands the importance of giving everyone that extra special touch—something luxe, something curated—so they feel seen.”
One official involved in the rollout emphasized the importance of presentation during post-disaster interviews. “These survivors are going to be on camera. Do we really want them giving statements to the press with dull skin and chipped nails?”
“Most political leaders have degrees in law or public policy. Even Vincent Woboya of Uganda holds credentials in public administration and disaster management. Is it too much to expect the Thai PM to match the qualifications of a single MP from a country with an economy eleven times smaller?” said Assistant Professor Ora-orn Poocharoen, PhD, Director of the School of Public Policy at Chiang Mai University.
“People revert to the training they know in moments of crisis,” said Dr. Anawat Raksaphong, a lecturer in emergency psychology at Thammasat University. “If someone’s expertise is in luxury hospitality, then faced with a collapsed building, they might instinctively try to offer cold towels, coordinate valet service, or ask where to set up the welcome drink station. It’s not that they’re unfeeling; it’s that their entire framework for ‘emergency’ involves a late check-in or a wedding cake collapse.
“Given the prime minister’s lack of training in crisis response, the most responsible course of action would be for her to step back and let someone with experience take over,” Dr. Anawat added. “In this case, that likely means her father, who by most accounts has been making the substantive decisions anyway. There’s no shame in recognizing your limitations—particularly when the person unofficially running the government has years of experience coordinating sudden departures, navigating unstable terrain, and managing the fallout from large-scale institutional collapse. If anyone understands how to respond when the ground gives way beneath you, it’s Thaksin Shinawatra.”
Upon arriving for her press conference, the PM revealed that she had personally taken three friends to Zara for retail therapy after they were shaken by disaster footage they watched on their phones. The PM contacted her publicist, who instructed her assistant to post an Instagram Story showing the group crying over the tragedy while waiting for a Zara attendant to box up their purchases.
“I understand the gravity of the situation,” she continued to the assembled reporters. “That’s why, before arriving at the scene, I made a conscious decision not to wear any of my Cartier pieces. No diamonds, no pearls—just simple, understated platinum studs and a neutral-tone Hermès blouse that won’t upstage anyone’s grief. This isn’t about me.”
At press time, Ms. Paetongtarn’s financial advisor reportedly reassured her that as long as she was seen dropping a few hundred baht into the communal hardhat collecting donations for the victims, her enormous personal fortune would remain safe from any future charitable expectations.
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