BANGKOK – In a surprise, impromptu speech to the Thai people, His Majesty the King Bhumibol Adulyadej has called on the country to come together in order to put a man on the moon before the end of the 1960s.
His Majesty made the inspiring call to action from his wheelchair, speaking to crowds from the balcony of his Siraraj Hospital room. The speech, while creating concern about the soundness of the 82-year-old monarch’s mind, has nonetheless captured the imagination of the Thai people and received universal praise from politicians. “His Majesty has once again put all our petty problems in perspective,” said Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva.
The government agreed to heed His Majesty’s advice by calling meetings, drawing up plans and creating respectful noise. “I believe if we work together as a country we may be able to even exceed His Majesty’s expectations and put a man on the moon by 1968,” Abhisit said.
The current Minister of Science and Technology Wutthipong Chaisang said that he would form a team to address the challenges posed by the space-time continuum. “It’s not so much the getting a human on the moon that poses the greatest test,” he said. “It’s the whole traveling-back-in-time thing that we’re going have to work on.”
“As His Majesty is the Kingdom’s preeminent engineer and scientist himself, I will seek his wise guidance on how he envisions the process,” he said.
The monarch acknowledged that the mission would be costly, but stressed that the historical significance of the achievement would be worth it:
“If I were to say, my fellow Thais, that we shall send to the moon, 240,000 miles away from the control station in Bangkok, a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, bigger than anything ever seen in Yasothon, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, capable of standing heat and stresses several times more than have ever been experienced, fitted together with a precision better than the finest watch, carrying all the equipment needed for propulsion, guidance, control, communications, and survival, on an untried mission, to an unknown celestial body, and then return it safely to earth, would you believe such a thing were possible? I believe it is possible and that we can acheive this feat before the Russians.”
As Thais across the country rejoiced at the idea and began speculating who would be the first Thai man or woman in space, social critics cautioned that His Majesty’s speech may have merely been a metaphor for something, though they were clearly at a loss to explain what, exactly, it meant. “I am working on it,” said Thirayuth Boonmee. “Call me in a week, okay?”
Chulalongkorn physicist Dr Manas Wereesuktitchai acknowledged that many challenges lay ahead, but encouraged Thais to keep in mind the big picture.
“It would be a great achievement for the nation. We would be the second people of the world to walk on the moon, since the Americans in, err, also in 1969. Look, between you and me, it doesn’t really matter when we do it,” he said, “as long as we get there before the Cambodians.”
