KUALA LUMPUR — Malaysia announced Monday it will host Thailand and Cambodia in what officials are calling a “frank, good-faith diplomatic three-way” aimed at defusing weeks of escalating border hostilities and restoring long-term regional stability. The trilateral session, to be held in the secure Grand Hyatt Kuala Lumpur penthouse suite, is expected to bring all three parties together behind closed doors for an intensive, hours-long exchange of positions, with each side encouraged to lay everything on the table and explore creative ways to satisfy mutual needs.
Thailand is expected to bring its famously well-trained professionals, adept at keeping multiple partners engaged at once, and more than willing to go overtime if it means a happy ending for everyone.
Cambodia, meanwhile, is bringing a more exploratory style, a readiness to switch things up mid-session, and a list of sensitive areas it wants handled with extra attention.
Diplomatic aides confirmed the talks would involve holding hard stances while jointly probing possible places of combined interest until all sides are thoroughly worked over, noting all participants had pledged to participate in multiple rounds of diplomacy if necessary, with one Thai official saying she was, “wide open for pretty much anything”. “Both Thailand and Cambodia have been at each other’s borders for years, but only rarely in such a fully participatory format,” said Malaysian Foreign Minister Mohamad Hasan, adding that his country would be “actively facilitating” to ensure no side feels left out.
Anonymous sources confirmed to NTN that AUKUS had been denied access despite repeated and desperate attempts to join—at one point asking if it could “just watch”—with the hotel night manager describing its envoys as still loitering in the lobby hours after midnight, eagerly buying drinks for any country who barely even made eye contact. Hotel security guards wouldn’t say whether they’d told AUKUS to steer clear of South Sudan, which, at the tender age of fourteen, remains still too young to even join the United Nations.
Early reports seem to confirm the two countries will reach a tentative agreement on a package of cultural and technological exchanges. Unable to meet its own pumping needs, Cambodia will secure a Thai commitment to lay free pipe across the border so the slick, gushy resources of the Cardamom Valley can be enjoyed by all. Thai engineers will also drive a rail project straight through an overgrown mountain range that hasn’t seen action in years, committing to do some much-needed trimming and reworking of the visible landscape for better future access. In return, Cambodia will deploy irrigation crews and equipment to keep Thailand’s drought-stricken central farmlands soaking wet for the foreseeable future.
Analysts say the meeting could mark a turning point if the participants are willing to experiment, swap roles, and push beyond their usual comfort zones to achieve a deeply penetrating and satisfying resolution. At press time, witnesses reported seeing AUKUS negotiating with itself in an alley outside the hotel.
Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
