BANGKOK – With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, the Ministry of Gay Culture (MGC) has launched its latest virtue campaign to try and preserve the good moral fiber of the Kingdom’s young homosexuals.
With the slogan “Save Your Ass” as its headline, the MGC has rolled out a massive nationwide movement that includes televised public service announcements, flyers, and a traveling road show that will stop at over 200 schools nationwide. The goal: to help the gay youth of Thailand protect their honor by just saying no to anal penetration on Valentine’s Day.
“We have a duty to protect the youth of Thailand and help them maintain good moral judgment,” explained Tiffany Meekrop, the campaign director. “Valentine’s Day is a very big problem for us because so many gay teens feel the pressure to give up their anal virginity as a romantic milestone. We believe that this often leads to regret, promiscuity, bad reputations, and hemorrhoids.”
The “Save Your Ass” campaign stresses the benefits of anal virginity and offers general sexual guidelines for teenagers in gay relationships, with specific recommendations for sexual gratification that doesn’t involve penetration. “Good gay teens can always engage in a nice circle-jerk, or if they’re serious, maybe some 69 double cock-sucking,” explained Ms. Meekrop. “You don’t have to go all the way to say ‘I love you’.”
