New Delhi – In an ambitious move to tackle India’s notorious traffic congestion, Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Transport Minister Nitin Gadkari today unveiled a sweeping plan aimed at revolutionising the Indian driving experience. The strategy? Raise the legal decibel limit for vehicle horns to an ear-splitting 110 decibels.
“This plan represents a new dawn for drivers across our nation,” announced Modi, speaking at a press conference that took place only slightly delayed due to the 39-minute, two-kilometre journey from the Prime Minister’s Office to the podium. “After listening to the voices of Indians stuck in endless traffic, we have realised one simple truth: you need louder horns.”
He continued, “Many of you have asked whether we’re planning to invest in better road infrastructure, licence only competent drivers who don’t bribe the traffic police to get a licence, or enforce traffic laws. Let me tell you, Indian scientists have confirmed that none of that will make a real difference! What the Indian driver truly needs is the primal satisfaction of an even louder honk.”
Currently, Indian law caps horn volume at a modest 91 decibels—a regulation Gadkari dismissed as “traffic-worsening nonsense.” The Transport Minister explained, “110 decibels will not just be 10% louder. It’s a logarithmic scale, people! This is 10,000 times the intensity of what we have now.” He paused. “Don’t ask me exactly how it works—our scientists assured us it’s true.”
The idea, according to Gadkari, is that louder horns will act as a kind of “sonic bulldozer,” clearing the way ahead as drivers feel the full moral authority of their impatience. “Imagine a driver 50 metres ahead hears you approaching from behind. With our new horn, they’ll pull over immediately—or at least think about it,” he beamed, as journalists clapped politely while discretely plugging their ears.
The government has already partnered with Tata Motors to develop a proprietary “MegaBlast Horn™,” specifically designed to fit this new vision. “We’ve developed it to vibrate the chassis of the car ahead so that not only will they hear you, but they’ll also feel you,” explained Gadkari, adding, “It’s groundbreaking.”
The announcement has drawn mixed reactions from the public. While some welcomed the innovation, others expressed a few, mild concerns. “Ten-thousand times louder? I don’t know if that’s safe,” said Akiti Reddy, a Chennai commuter. “But if the government says it’s safe, I suppose I’ll trust them.”
For Bangalore auto driver Zahir Agarwal, though, the plan is a dream come true. “Finally! My tiny auto horn is barely louder than a baby crying,” he exclaimed with joy. “With 110 decibels, the driver ahead will definitely know I’m right behind him trying to get by.”
Experts say the new policy might face some “minor technical challenges,” including potential hearing loss, spontaneous glass shattering, and psychological trauma among pedestrians. But Gadkari is optimistic. “Minor side effects, really,” he said dismissively. “I’m confident we can iron out these tiny details. Besides, as we always say, progress has its price!”
Despite concerns, Modi remained unwavering. “This is India’s truest traffic solution,” he declared. “If we make our honks louder, we will make our streets freer.” The press conference concluded with an impressive 110-decibel horn demonstration, as Modi, Gadkari, and the press corps hastily left the room, vibrating only slightly from the echoing honks.
