SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA – Conservatives at the Republican Convention are over the moon after learning that the youngest daughter of Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin single-handedly killed a moose last month.
The confirmation of Piper’s remarkable trophy comes just a day after the McCain-Palin ticket announced that Palin’s unmarried teen daughter, Bristol, was pregnant but would keep the baby. The one-two combination of Bristol’s unaborted foetus and Piper’s “first kill” has electrified the conventional hall with new donations now expected by the tens-of-millions.
In a written statement to the press, Sarah Palin confirmed the Internet rumor, declaring: “It is true that my little girl Piper killed a moose. We are so proud of her for taking that animal’s life and we look forward to mounting its head in our home.”
Third-grader Josey Smith, who accompanied Piper on the NRA For Girls Summer Hunt, said Piper spotted the moose from a ridge and then “cocked and shot it in one motion.” After the moose fell to its knees, Piper reportedly pulled out her hunting knife and charged down the ridge. “It was so cool,” said Smith, “When I got there, Piper was jumping up and down and hugged me and shouted, ‘Mooseburgers for dinner!’”
An aide to John McCain said that McCain had been informed that Piper Palin was good with a gun as early as last month.
