THE INFAMOUS SEASIDE RESORT OF PATTAYA — Known worldwide as a den of crime and vice, Pattaya municipal officials have decided to embrace its reputation by officially renaming the city “The Infamous Seaside Resort of Pattaya”.
Explaining the decision, Mayor Itthiphol “Tik” Kunplome said, “We found that almost every international press report referred to us as ‘the infamous seaside resort’. Rather than waste more money trying to brand our city as a family-friendly destination, we’ve decided that the moniker will help bring in more of those tourists to whom we cater best. Let’s not pretend anymore. Sex, drugs, prostitution — this shit sells.”
The mayor said to generate fresh international publicity for The Infamous Seaside Resort of Pattaya, police would raid go-go bars, briefly detain some of the town’s best-known pedophiles, throw a few old foreigners off balconies, and ask the town’s waxworks museum to resurrect its Hitler billboard.
