LOS ANGELES – Defeated presidential candidate Mitt Romney wasted no time in re-inventing himself post-politically, announcing less than a day after the election that he was going into show business. At a joint press conference with the executive producers of Seventh Sign Productions, a Christian film company, Romney was presented as the new lead actor in an upcoming US$30 million movie about the “end times” as predicted in the Book of Revelations.
“We’ve been working on an update of the Left Behind series for a few years now,” said director Kevin Hamm, referring to a Revelation-based film series from the 1980s. “We wanted to use the latest computer graphic effects to update the story of Jesus’ promise to return to earth and defeat Satan in the battle of Armageddon.”
According to Hamm, the role of the Anti-Christ was a “key casting decision” because it was the charisma of the Satanic incarnate that allowed him to “deceive nations.”
“The Anti-Christ, as we learn in the Bible, is a person who seems like a savior and says all the right things, to the point where he becomes a false idol. Someone good-looking, smooth-talking, and moral on the surface, but pure evil underneath.”
Romney, as it turned out, was the perfect choice.
“As we followed the election, it occurred to us that hey, here’s a guy who’s Mormon, but somehow he’s gotten everyone to pretend he isn’t,” said Mary O’Conner, the film’s co-producer. “Around the country you had ministers telling their flocks to vote for a Mormon for president. I mean that’s a skill you can’t teach.”
Early reports suggest that Romney is a natural in front of the camera, and that many of his scenes involving deceiving large crowds with pandering rhetoric as the Lord of Lies were shot in a single take. Furthermore, several people from the crew have claimed that Romney’s portrayal of Satan, when he finally reveals himself, is “frighteningly believable.”
Romney expressed both excitement and gratitude for the opportunity.
“I’m very much looking forward to helping these good people get out the message of the Bible,” he said. “I am a proud Christian, and a proud American, and I hope to play a greater role in the future of this nation soon.”
Hamm hopes that the movie, tentatively titled “The End Of Times,” will serve as a warning to all Americans that the Bible prophecies are coming true and must be heeded.
“This is a wake-up call,” he explained. “Revelations says that that Anti-Christ will rise to power in secret, as no man knows the day of his birth. Our only protection is faith in Christ and the word of God.”
Asked if he had any idea who the real Anti-Christ might be, Hamm said “We simply do not know. But probably Barack Obama.”
