DALLAS, TEXAS – Barack Obama received wild cheers of support after farting during a campaign speech today.
Noticing a crowd in the front row scowling, holding their hands over their noses and looking at each other in disgust, the democratic frontrunner abruptly halted his speech and waved to the crowd: “Uh, sorry folks, that was me.”
The supporters then applauded enthusiastically.
Smiling broadly, Obama tried to continue his speech but was interrupted as the applause quickly grew into yips, hollers, and shouts of “That’s our man!”, “Go on!”, and “We love you!”
After the speech, many of the front-row supporters who stood in the pungent odor before it passed said the experience had been “inspiring.”
June Thomas, a 21-year-old student from the University of Houston exclaimed, “I believe in America again!”
Thirty-two-year-old web producer John Horner said the 12-hour wait for a front row seat had paid off. “When I realized the smell had come from the anus of Barack himself, I simply could not contain my excitement. Change is in the air! Yes we can!”
Analysts argue that to woo voters the normally reserved Hillary Clinton must now reveal her own humanity through an extreme act of vulnerability but they agree it will be hard to top Obama. Said one: “The only situation I can imagine is Bill urinating on her in public. That might work.”
