PHUKET — A team of physicists advising the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) has confirmed that the agency’s long-standing goal of welcoming 40 million annual tourists lies beyond the realm of physical possibility. The nation’s arrival numbers, they explained, are caught in an asymptotic trajectory—one that draws ever closer to the target without actually reaching it—due to fundamental mathematical limits of commercial airspace saturation and Suvarnabhumi’s gate checks and escalator capacity. “Despite having run thousands of simulations, the Kingdom’s top physicists and engineers are unable to define parameters sufficient to enable the final 40 millionth tourist to clear Immigration within a single calendar year,” reported Dr. Phuwadon Jittaleela. The white paper confirms that time and space begin to warp just after clearing 39 million international visitors past Gate F2, creating a temporal bottleneck in the arrivals hall where tourists are processed at increasingly slower rates approaching zero. “We modeled the flow using the function A(t) = 40,000,000 − 1/t,” Dr. Jittaleela explained, “which shows arrivals drawing infinitely close to the target but never actually reaching it—not without collapsing the visa-on-arrival system into a singularity.” At press time, the Tourism Minister had forcibly assumed control of Suvarnabhumi’s main air traffic control tower, and was ordering all inbound flights to fly directly into the ground.
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