BANGKOK—Citing “endemic fear” among male teachers and “overly hazardous working conditions,” the Thai Teachers Union announced today a general strike in an attempt to pressure administrators to institute mandatory sexually transmitted disease (STD) testing for students aged 13—18.
Complaints of workplace difficulties among provincial teachers have risen steadily over the past several years, according to the Office of Statistical Numbers. A growing number of teachers are feeling disillusioned by the increased risk of catching an STD from sex with their students.
“This is a dangerous trend,” said Wittiwat Jintanakarn, president of the teacher’s union in Uttaridit province. “I’ve been double and triple-bagging it, and it doesn’t matter. I itch like an old soi dog.”
“It’s one thing when I’m expected to give a student a good grade just because she lets me slide in between her exquisitely-formed gluteal muscles after volleyball practice,” said Pat Sainamtan, a chemistry teacher from Chiang Rai. “It’s quite another when I wake up two weeks later with the syph.”
Last year, there were over 300,000 cases of student-to-teacher STD transmissions in the northeast alone, according to the union. “When you get down to it, this is a question of human rights,” Wittiwat said. “These students don’t know the first thing about safe sex.”
Teachers want twice-yearly mandatory testing, with results displaced “in a prominent location, such as a tattoo on the back of each student’s ass.”
Outside the Ministry of Education, teachers picketed with signs proclaiming “No more math until you clean that snatch,” and “Bone in fear? We’re outta here!”
For Marc Decker, a volunteer mathayom five teacher from Nottingham, it’s a question of diminishing returns. “Us volunteers, yeah? We come here out of the generosity of our own hearts. And on top of it all we’re expected to carry a mickey? What’s the point of violating adolescents if we have to strap one on?” He carried a placard that said, “Genital Security – We want purity!”
Despite the alarming statistics, some students feel that the teachers’ complaints are unwarranted. “These guys know what they’re signing up for when they agree to teach English at Khon Kaen middle school,” said Titiwuk Leksanan, a mathayom four student. “Don’t go crying to mommy just because it burns a little at the pisser.”
According to Boonluck Nongthai, a Bangkok physician, most students can’t afford their own STD testing, and the school system is not likely to pick up the cost. At the same time, he said, “as a teacher looking down on those innocent country smiles, those trusting faces — how can you not fuck that?”
He added that recent research has shown that most cases of STDs contracted by teachers are from a child who contracted an STD from a former teacher.
Education Phanit Sisomboom expressed sympathy with the teachers’ plight, but cautioned that they may have to accept the situation as a regular hazard of the job. “The truth is, we all have to deal with a version of this problem,” he said. “Back in the good old days, you could be sure that every new secretary we hired straight out of college here at the ministry was clean as a whistle. Now, I might as well try my luck at the massage parlors.”
“Don’t even get me started on the massage parlors,” he added.
