Ban Khlong Luek – Poipet — Criminal networks spanning both sides of the Thai-Cambodian border have renewed a decades-old pact to continue engaging in criminal activity as long as it remained profitable to both sides, sources confirmed today. Whether selling computer hardware into Cambodia to power scam networks, providing undocumented workers to toil in Thailand’s construction and trades sectors at below-market rates, or facilitating cross-border gambling operations, “there’s too much money at risk to let an ancient border dispute jeopardise millions in untaxed revenue,” said an anonymous source, seated in the back of a customised Mercedes-Benz S-600 Guard, complete with optional champagne fridge and slow-pulsing Royal Gold–Sunset Orange ambient lighting. “In times of hostility, everyone needs to keep jai yen yen because Thai and Khmer are brothers, and this disagreement will pass. Money has no passport, and we honor the ASEAN spirit of open borders and closed books.” The meeting concluded with a symbolic exchange of thick brown envelopes and a shared toast—using 10,000-baht-a-piece Saint-Louis Cristal goblets—to “personal enrichment through crime.” At press time, the underworld mob bosses had reportedly agreed to solve the fucking stupid border dispute themselves.
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