BANGKOK — Thai criminal networks are retooling their business model, according to a press release from the Thai Criminal and Scam Network Association (TCSNA), which urged affiliates to scale back to 50–300 baht scams instead of the sector’s previous average haul of 114,000 baht per hustle. “The Bank of Thailand’s new daily transfer cap of 50,000 baht initially looked disastrous,” admitted TCSNA spokesperson Surasak Phonwiset. “We feared layoffs of hundreds of members dressed in unwashed athletic shorts and cheap flip-flops, plus deferred payments on high-rise condos, supercars, and megayachts for the scam organizers who actually make money at the top.” But panic soon gave way to innovation. “Instead of conning gullible grandmas and worthless losers with no girlfriends into buying cryptocoins or funding fake surgery, we’ve broadened the target demographic to include just about everyone, and are asking for only enough to cover snacks at 7-Eleven, a haircut, or a taxi across town. One pilot program successfully convinced victims to transmit the worth of a FamilyMart bento set.” Industry analyst Chalinee Boonprakob of the Institute for Illicit Economies said the pivot “will probably work out in the end. I mean, who’s going to call their bank about a missing 80 baht?” At press time, high-ranking scam officials admitted the only real victims so far were network members forced to split a single GrabBike ride home.
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