BANGKOK — The embattled Thai government, led by the teetering Pheu Thai Party, reaffirmed today that Thai people will continue pointing at things, regardless of geopolitical uncertainty, or internal institutional collapse.
“We are a nation of people who point at things,” declared acting Prime Minister Phumtham Wechayachai to a joint session of parliament and 281 media outlets from across Asia and the Pacific Rim. “Whether the thing is good or bad, overpriced or counterfeit, a source of pride or deeply shameful—we will point at it.”
The statement was met with thunderous finger pointing.
Phumtham then unveiled a 37-minute PowerPoint presentation tracing the history of Thai pointing back to the founding of the Sukhothai Kingdom in 1238 (B.E. 1781). The presentation included grainy stone carvings, high-resolution tourist photos, and one drone shot of a man pointing at a Tesco Lotus in Sisaket. “No people point with more grace, speed, or endurance than the Thai,” Phumtham added.
“Let no one claim to point better than the Thai,” he added. “Not the Khmer, not the Burmese, and certainly not the Lao Loum. Ancient and deliberate, our pointing abilities are unmatched throughout history.”
At press time, all 71.6 million Thais were proudly pointing at something, with government agencies reminding citizens to stretch their wrists every 45 minutes in accordance with Ministry of Health guidelines.
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