RAT — ‘Excessive’? ‘Disturbing’? A ‘hazard to the safety of others’? What does any of this even mean? Ignore the haters, and just go! Go! Go!
OX — Prepare emergency extraction protocols.
TIGER — While a comeback is still possible, the family business may not be a good fit for you, after all.
RABBIT — You know what? We’re fed up! We’ve had it! You try negotiating with a madman!
DRAGON — Your snake-charming skills are rapidly improving, although your eyelids are growing heavy, your skin feels clammy, and it’s suddenly hard to breath in here for some reason…
HORSE — You will find happiness with a new love.
SNAKE — Although crafty, you’re also a pretty terrible neighbor. Doors will remain closed to you.
SHEEP — Don’t be so glum. The important thing to remember is that smuggling pythons in your underwear could have worked.
MONKEY — Wreck and ruin await what seems to be a brilliant plan, but it’s all worth it if you can achieve your dreams for just one single moment.
ROOSTER — How many times are you going to try pressing the ‘reset’ button? Give it a rest. We’re sick of this shit.
DOG — Things look pretty grim right now, but shank a few fellow inmates, and, who knows, you could become a shot caller in five or ten years. Hang in there!
PIG — Ten million baht in overseas accounts? ✔️
Multiple passports? ✔️
Patsy? ✔️
Car keys? Oh… fuck!
Phra Buddhaghosacariya has been reincarnated as Chatmongkol Chantarachai, a Thai school boy, and blesses NotTheNation every month with his sage wisdom.
Lucky numbers for next week’s lottery are available with a paid subscription.
Email Us: Info at NotTheNation dot com
