BANGKOK – Thailand’s Tourism Authority (TAT) has announced its boldest target yet: an astonishing, mind-boggling goal to attract an “infinite” number of tourists to the country by 2026. With previous benchmarks smashed year after year, officials believe they’re on track to shatter the limits of human—and indeed, cosmic—capacity.
The initiative, aptly named Infinity or Bust, aims to turn Thailand into a veritable tourist magnet. TAT Deputy Governor Pattaraanong Na Chiangmai proudly announced the plan, explaining, “We were tossing around ideas and throwing out numbers, and then someone said, ‘Why stop at a billion? Why not infinity?’ And it just clicked. Thailand deserves to be the ultimate destination, infinitely.”
Scientists Raise “Minor Concerns” Over Tourist Overload
However, scientists have expressed some “minor concerns” over the feasibility of infinity. Dr. Adichit Ponsermwak, lead researcher at the Thai Research Institute, issued a report with troubling findings about the potential impacts of the TAT’s ambitious plan.
“We’re approaching a critical threshold here,” Dr. Ponsermwak said, adjusting his glasses anxiously. “An infinite number of tourists in Thailand would theoretically require infinite hotel rooms, infinite bowls of pad thai, and possibly an infinite number of selfie sticks. We’re not entirely sure how the country’s infrastructure—or the known universe—will handle it.”
Dr. Ponsermwak also raised the issue of the so-called “tourist gravity wells” expected to form in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Phuket, warning that the sheer density of visitors could collapse these cities into themselves, creating a vortex of continuous, never-ending photo opportunities from which no tourist could escape.
TAT Optimistic: “The More, the Merrier!”
When asked about these concerns, Deputy Governor Pattaraanong waved them off, stating, “We’re a very welcoming country. ‘Infinite tourists’ may sound daunting, but it just means more smiling faces, more beach selfies, and, naturally, more money. Yes, there might be a bit of a squeeze, but isn’t that just part of the charm?”
According to TAT’s calculations, each tourist will only need about one square foot of personal space—ideal for standing shoulder-to-shoulder on Bangkok’s Skytrain or in long, snaking queues for mango sticky rice. They’re even considering constructing special “Tourist Towers” where travelers will be stacked vertically, potentially up to hundreds of stories high, maximizing space.
Infinity Project Met with “Mild Skepticism” from Locals
While officials are enthused, many Thai citizens are unsure how to feel about potentially sharing their home with an infinite number of visitors. Bangkok resident Jirayuth Thongpan expressed mild skepticism. “I already can’t get a seat on the Skytrain. Now you’re telling me I’ll be sharing my commute with everyone in the multiverse?”
Officials remain undeterred. “In fact, we’re excited by the prospect of introducing concepts like *quantum tourism*,” said Pattaraanong. “Theoretically, tourists could occupy all places in Thailand at once. So yes, you might find yourself at the top of the Temple of the Emerald Buddha next to an Australian backpacker, a family from Moscow, and perhaps even some future intergalactic tourists from Mars.”
Emergency Preparations Underway (Sort Of)
Just to be safe, Dr. Ponsermwak’s team has rolled out a “Preparedness for the Infinite” campaign, equipping locals with essential survival tips for the inevitable overcrowding. “We’re advising residents to brush up on ‘compressed breathing’ techniques, invest in collapsible seating, and learn to walk sideways to navigate the expected wall-to-wall tourist gridlock,” Dr. Ponsermwak explained. “Additionally, we’re exploring the feasibility of converting Bangkok’s skytrain stations into ‘population pressure valves’ to prevent overflow. If all else fails, we’re drafting plans for underground ‘escape pods’—just in case Bangkok becomes the first city to reach maximum tourist capacity and implode under its own popularity.”
Tourism for the Next Dimension
In preparation, the TAT is also partnering with tech giants to develop “Tourism 4D,” a cutting-edge approach that will allow visitors to experience Thailand across multiple dimensions simultaneously, reducing foot traffic while maximizing cultural immersion. With simulations of bustling night markets and virtual tuk-tuk rides set to launch soon, TAT is confident that by 2026, visitors can experience Thailand from the comfort of any available square inch. “It’s all about thinking outside the box,” Pattaraanong said proudly, gesturing toward a hologram of Bangkok’s skyline projected over her desk. “Or, in this case, thinking outside all boxes, in all directions, forever.”
